Demons for a Tuesday

Well it is another day, and another opportunity for everyone to do the right thing in their lives. Whatever that may be, to whomever you are.
So today is Fat Tuesday, Mardi gras, what I want to know is what all of my Catholic friends are going to give up for Lent. That is looming ever closer for you, being Baptist; we don’t give up anything, mainly because we have already given up everything. No drinking, no dancing, no gambling and if you are FreeWill Baptist, no movies. So nothing is left to give up, and I have given up so much with the whole not eating thing there is nothing left for me to give up.
I did it, I took my acrylic overlay off of my nails, they look incredibly disgusting now, can’t wait for them to grow out. I may go get the overlays again in the future, but for now I am done with them.
I have decided I am addicted to expensive denim, it just fits so much better and the quality of the denim is amazing. Thank you Elizabeth Anne for introducing me to this delightful product, you have no idea the monster you just created!
I am deciding what I want to do for lunch, I walked out the door without my usual yogurt, I have no fruit and I am starving already. I think it is a mindset, I have no food here, therefore I am hungry for it, if I had food I would not be hungry. So, I will be going to the gym today after work, yes, I am going to torture myself with working out. I hate it so much, but you all know this, the endorphins never, ever kick in for me. I will always hate it, however, I have to be skinny, it is an obsession with me and no I don’t care about health, I don’t understand why people don’t get that. Why the feel the need to lecture me, I don’t care, I just want to look good. I am a product of my avid television watching, from the 1970’s forward, I want to look like the women in the magazines, I don’t want to be flabby, real women, real women are the ones who care about what they look like. I was told from a young age that I was pretty; my grandmother told my grandfather that he was filling my head with nonsense when he taught me to read at the age of 4. She said that girl is pretty, she doesn’t need to be smart, she can get a husband. So, with the mindset that looks is all that matters in life I shall continue my quest to keep mine. That is my opinion, and I don’t care who knows it. Let the criticism begin. I did not have birthday cake; I had no chocolates for Valentines Day, mainly because no one got me any, cake or chocolates. See even the people in my life are trying to tell me I am fat and ugly, and they don’t care about my health either, just want me to be skinny.
On that note, I will sign off and get ready to face my demons, and trust me there are plenty.

2 Replies to “Demons for a Tuesday”

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