Gifts and Talents

I have begun something new, I have started putting 3 teaspoons of Organic Apple Cider Vinegar in my morning 16 ounces of water. I’ll let you know how it goes, if there are any effects, it is supposed to help with belly fat and weight loss. I have an over abundance of both to lose, I still lament the fact I was not given the gift of skinniness.

I look around me and think wow God really loved some people, they have gifts and talents galore and well, I have none. Typing fast is not a talent, it is a side effect of having Mrs. Breedlove for a typing teacher. Reading fast is not a talent, it is a side effect of having spent my nose in a book since before I started kindergarten. Those are the only two things I am good at, I am good at reading and typing, you cannot make a career out of those things.

I could sit and wish I were born beautiful, thin, full of wisdom and witty, however I am none of those things. What I do posses is an abundant love for my children and grandchildren, but I suppose everyone feels that way about their offspring. I also posses an abundant love for Jesus and God, but I suppose every Christian feels that way about their Savior.

I wish I knew what to do with the rest of my life, tech support is becoming, well, stressful, being screamed at because you sat on your remote and don’t know how to fix it is not my fault.

Sometimes I wish I had finished my degree in Journalism, ok, all the time I feel that way, the one thing I love doing more than almost anything is writing. I love putting words to paper, well, you know what I mean, and sending my words off to the world.

There is something so satisfying about getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper, once again, in this day and age, that is metaphorical.

My head is not always a sunny place, if is filled with self-doubt, self-loathing (all about the weight) and self-regret, not finishing things, like college.

I loved going to college, I didn’t go until I was in my 30’s, I got married at 19 and started having kids, then after the divorce I made a decision to go to school. It was tough, I had three jobs, three kids and a full course load. I don’t think I slept in two years, I look back and seriously don’t know how I did it. After two years I was offered a job at the major telecommunications corporation, where I still work. It was a blessing, one I will not forget, the job literally saved my family, I was able to quit all three jobs as that one was more than the three put together. I also quit going to school, my children needed me at home, with them, I was happy to be their mom.

See when I had them, I made the commitment to be their mother, once again, happily, so they had to come before anything else. So in essence I don’t regret not finishing college, because it was worth it to be there fully for my children.

My job has been good to us, I will always be grateful for the opportunities it has afforded me and my children. There are certain things I will never complain about, being a mom (I made the choice to be one, they did not make the choice to make me one), my children and my job. I may say some things about it, like, please stop screaming at the people that are trying to help you, but you will never hear me complain about my job.

I do wish I had any talents or gifts, but I guess there are so many people in the world and only so many talents and gifts to go around.