The Forbidden Topic

I’m going to do it, I’m going to talk about the thing that makes people so uncomfortable. When you say this word they squirm, fidget and change the subject.

Menopause, it is killing me, I have survived a lot in my lifetime and this is the thing that is going to do me in.

I seriously dread getting my electric bill this month, I am setting my thermostat to 66 degrees at night.

I still wake up with hot flashes, 4 to 5 a night, I can’t remember the last time I got a good nights sleep.

I have a few during the day, those are bearable, the ones at night are the killer ones.

Also, my left hip flexer hurts at night, burning pain, the only thing that makes it any better are my sleep pants. Which are compression pants, if I don’t wear them I wake up in sever, burning pain.

But when I wear them, the hot flashes are worse, so it is a horrible catch 22.

Let’s move on to the headaches, I am getting headaches now behind my right ear. It is a weird pain, that lasts about 30 seconds. Those thirty seconds are searing, it’s crazy, I don’t understand what is happening to me.

Let’s move on to the weight gain, I walk/run twice a day, I do lifts with a 25lb kettle bell in-between calls.

I gain weight if I eat, I gain weight if I don’t, I’m tired all of the time because I cannot get a good nights sleep.

I will tell you this, my hair is full and thick, thanks to all of the collagen I am consuming and the Fitish hair serum.

So there’s that positive, but everything else, it’s insane.

Thank God I am going through this alone, I don’t even know how I would survive if there were anyone else here.

How do women do it? I don’t even know because no one talks about it! It’s not like child birth where everyone is dying to tell you their story. This is such a taboo subject, I don’t know why.

I need other women to tell me how they did it, I really don’t want to do synthetic hormones but I am at my wits end and am ready to just tell the dr to patch me up.

On another note, I finished what is out of the series Our Girl, it is on Brit Box. It has Luke Pasqualino in it, one of my new friends on Twitter suggested it. She is brilliant, the show is brilliant, he really isn’t in that many of the episodes. It kept my attention even when he wasn’t in the episodes. It is that good, I highly recommend it, it is on Amazon Prime for part of the seasons, the others you have to get Brit Box for it.

Right now I am rewatching Eureka, I love that show, it is really fun. I highly recommend that as well.

I also got to see a picture of Dean Cain training to be a police officer. That is a good look on him, I am completely torn in my loyalties, let’s face it, Luke is way too young for me, but Dean seems out of reach as well.

This may be the menopause talking but I may have overreached in my goal of marriage. Nah.

It’s still doable, as I am not dead yet, I hope you all have a great week, I would love to hear any stories of how you survived menopause.

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