Category: General

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Issues

I have a problem, an issue if you will; it is one I have been dealing with for some time now. I find I can no longer deal with this on my own; so I am asking for help, please allow me to explain.

There is a person where I work that I simply do not like, that’s not the right wording, I have no respect for this person. Their knowledge base, when I have no respect it manifests in distinctly unpleasant ways. Eye rolling when they speak, physically cringing when I see anything from them, and disdain, ignoring their very existence.

I want to be clear here, I don’t like myself this way, in fact I look down upon myself and shake my head at, well, me. I have prayed and prayed for a change of heart with this person, this is all on me. I don’t pray to change the person I have no respect for; I pray that God changes me.

I don’t know if I am not being sincere in my prayers, ok, let’s face it, I’m not, I have a hard time with this. I am snarky around this person, I don’t like it, and I am horrified with myself.

So that is where you all come in, I am asking that you pray that God changes me, once again, this is all on me. I am not praying God changes the other person, I am praying that God changes my heart towards this person.

Everyone knows I do not care for said person, because I cannot hide my face, and my face speaks volumes. God did not give me a poker face; He gave me an expressive one.

This person does not work Mondays, so by Tuesday of this week I want to have a changed attitude toward this person. I am praying for it, I am asking you all to pray for me.

We can only change us, it is not up to us to change others, we can only control our reactions and our hearts, ourselves. In dealing with someone we don’t care for that shows the true character of our souls, and I genuinely do not like mine when it comes to dealing with this person. I want to change the character of my soul in regards to my reactions.

If there is someone in your life that you are not reacting the way you would like, or in a way that speaks to the person you want to be, I would love to know how you are dealing with it. Please feel free to leave a comment.

I will let you all know how it goes this coming week. Be Blessed and have a great day!

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Grateful Friday

I forgot something important, Sunday I got to have lunch with 4 of my ultimate favorite people. Jeffrey, Elizabeth, Alex and Tessa, it was my birthday lunch; this was Alex’s birthday present to me. Lunch with the 4 of them, it was awesome!
Of course it was Mexican food, if it’s a lunch for me it’s Mexican food, the food was good, the company was great, the conversation was awesome.
Nothing makes me more at peace than spending time with the four of them, it was such a treat.
This week has been a challenge, however I am keeping my attitude positive, and teaching my supervisor a few things as well. Every day we have a meeting, called a huddle, in the past this time has been filled with everything negative. There has not been one positive thing said during these times. I told him please tell us one thing that we do correctly, just one. He stared at me, I said, you praise to success, one does not beat employees to succeed. You need to figure out the good things we are doing and tell us those, because this time is a beating.
Well, Tuesday he started doing just that, it was a revelation, I felt better as did my teammates. It’s amazing what happens when you give praise instead of negativity, I imagine this is what happens when we go to God and thank Him for all the great things that He does in our lives. Instead of complaining about all that He doesn’t do for us, or about all of the things we perceive as wrong, we just say thank you for our daily miracles.
There are many, the very breath we take is a miracle, the way our bodies work, the way we interact with all species. The world at large is a miracle, look at the way it works, the very way the earth sits in the galaxy. What an awesome world we have, let’s take a moment and say thank you to the great creator.
Today is Friday and I will make this a great day, I woke up, I have a nice place to live, in a great neighborhood, I have someone in my life who thinks I hung the moon, I have awesome children, I have Tessa and I have Stormie. I also have the most incredible friends, who remind me every day that there is something to be grateful for.

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Welcome to the Gateway to Friday

Did you ever just have one of those days? You know the one I mean, where everything is frustrating and nothing goes right? Yesterday was that day for me; well it actually started Monday night. As it is work related I will not go into specifics, I will just say that if everyone took their job seriously and did what they were supposed to there would be less frustration for not only employees but customers as well.
There I said it, I feel better, oh and before you think maybe some people are new and don’t know how to do their jobs. No, that is not the case; in the department I work in we have all been there a minimum of 5 years. If you don’t know your job by now you need a new one, or you need to ask for further training. I will be the first to admit the training is sketchy, inadequate and incomplete. I, myself have asked for further training, so before you think I think I am perfect at my job, erase it from your thoughts. However, I do help the customer to the very best of my ability that is sadly not happening with everyone.
Whew, I feel better, I know it is rare I vent about work, but sometimes one just has to. I am looking forward to this weekend, Saturday I am hosting the Ladies that Lunch event in my new home. I am very excited about that, I must remember to tell the Irishman so he can make himself scarce during that time.
Must sign off now and get ready to face a wonderful day at work, it is what you make of it I fully believe that. I will go in with the attitude that I cannot control what others do, I can only control how I work and how I interact with the customers and my coworkers and I will give it my all.
I hope everyone has a fantastic Day Before Friday/Starbucks Day.

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Happy Day After

What a great day yesterday was, I decided that since I was picking up Tess and the Irishman was getting his girls I would make some treats and order pizza for Valentines dinner.
So, I made cupcakes and dyed them red, with purple frosting, then made big, heart shaped, sugar cookies, bought candy, decorated the dining room. I thought that would be it, then to my surprise a text comes from Jeffrey telling me that Tessa’s class is having a Valentines Day party and it starts at 3 if I wanted to go. Did I want to go??? Uh, yeah!
So off I go to surprise Tess in her class, what fun, first graders are so much fun, no guile, no shyness, just pure joy. I took my camera and the kids had a ball taking it and taking pictures of each other. I am going to have the pictures printed and give them to Tessa for her to keep as a good memory of her first grade experience.
Then another surprise, the Irishman’s girls were having friends over, so extra pizza was in order; I already had enough of the other goodies.
Another surprise, Elizabeth Anne was in town and came by to visit with Tess and myself, then to top it off Jeffrey stayed and had dinner with us as well. The only person I didn’t get to see was Alex, the only thing that could have made it a completely perfect Valentines Day.
I know that Valentines Day is touted as a romantic day, however, love is love, and I got to be around people I love. I consider that a win.
Maybe next year will be about romance, we have had years where it is about romance, but this year was about family.
I hope everyone had a great day and celebrated in the manner in which they wanted to. If not there is always next year to look forward to.

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Trying Something New

I have to say I don’t feel differently, hmmm could that old saying be correct, age really is just a number? I’ll let you know as the year progresses.
I did a lot of firsts this weekend, I got a tattoo from Elizabeth Anne, I joined a coop called Bountiful Baskets, which I highly recommend, you can find more information on http://www.bountifulbaskets.org.
I made leek-potato soup, which turned out wonderfully, even if I do say so myself, what else, oh I made a trip to the Nespresso store; I highly recommend that as well. I do believe that is it. Ok four things I did differently.
I cannot wait to use the gift certificate I got from Jeffrey; it is for a chocolate cherry facial. I have never heard of such a thing, I will report back on that afterwards. Also have a gift certificate for a massage from the Irishman; I foresee a day of pampering in my future.
I really am not in the mood for a rant, although there are several things bothering me right at this moment. Ok, one thing, never mind, I wrote it out and thought better of it. It sounded petty and vindictive and the person with whom I am irritated would know it is she I am speaking of. So I shan’t do it, I don’t want to be that person who knowingly hurts someone. It is one thing to unknowingly do something of that nature; it is quiet another to purposely do it. That is not what my site is for, so I shan’t do it.
I do want to thank everyone who told me Happy Birthday, whether by Facebook or text, I enjoyed every message and you made my day a little more special.
I hope everyone has a great day and enjoys the weather that I have brought forth, I prayed, God heard and granted my request.

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I Wanna Talk About Me

Yesterday Elizabeth took me out for my birthday; she bought me a present I didn’t really ever think I would actually want. Let alone go through with, she bought me a tattoo. Yes, for my 50th birthday I got a tattoo.
I will not be showing it to people, it is for me and in a place, my ribcage, that I will not be hiking up my shirt and showing anyone. I thought long and hard about where to get one, I don’t want my mom to see it when I die. She will never see it there, neither will anyone else.
I have thought about this for years, at one time I thought about getting the superman symbol, however all that color would hurt. This is permanent, so I didn’t want anything embarrassing as I grow older. Also there is the sagging and wrinkle conundrum, you don’t want anything anyone will see all distorted and wrinkled.
So my ribcage it was, there you have it folks, it’s not earth shattering, but it is news in my world. Angie World.
I have decided that my birthday will be a national holiday in Angie World; being in Angie World it should be the actual world. I do believe I will start a grass roots campaign to get my birthday declared a national holiday. I thought I would start this by becoming a Chief Steward in the Union, I will run on the platform of honesty. Interesting concept in the Union these days, I will tell people a vote for me is well for me. This is all about me, what I can do for me and not anyone else; this is what the majority of them do now, so why not run an honest campaign.
I can name on one hand the Chief Stewards that are there for the people, that want to make a difference, that fight the good fight. It’s a shame really, Unions are the reason workers have off Memorial Day, Labor Day, the Fourth of July, Christmas, two days at Thanksgiving and countless other little things we take for granted. The 40-hour workweek, we can thank them, fair wages, benefits for workers. I could go on however I shan’t, I will leave it alone. For now.
Back to me, which, let’s be honest, is my favorite subject, next to my children and Tessa. Elizabeth and I rounded the day out with shopping, where I spent money on her and lunch at Taco Bueno, which she bought. All in all a good day celebrating both of our birthdays.

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February

February is not going the way I want it to, it hasn’t in several years, I must ask myself what I am doing that angers God so much He withholds snow. That is the big question; I might just have a pity party on my birthday, who wants to join me? No one? Alright then, cake for one.
I am enjoying the cold weather; I do love the crispness of the air, the smell of rain, the season for boots and sweater dresses. Of course in my advancing age I will probably have to give up sweater dresses in the near future. Those are a young persons game, not an old woman.
There is something I feel compelled to talk about, Maria Kang; the fit mom on Facebook that people seem to think it is ok to shame. I think she rocks; she did not use her three children as an excuse to let herself go, she has openly admitted she fought the battle of an eating disorder. She has worked hard to become fit, healthy, and is helping other women to achieve the same.
I wish I had the dedication she has, she does not spend hours a day exercising, this is a misnomer, I wish people would actually read what she did and continues to do to achieve and keep her toned, HEALTHY body.
She does it so she can live a long healthy life, to see her boys grow up and see their children as well. Why on earth does that give people the right to ridicule her? Do you feel guilty that you do not do all you can do to become healthy?
Have you actually seen the calendar she has done? Featuring other mothers who have fought their battles and are winning? I admit, I have not done all I can do; as a result I have a hideous, unhealthy body.
No one knows what I look like with no clothes on and they never will, as it is not pretty. It is my own fault, I did not eat healthy during any of my pregnancies, ok, with Elizabeth I tried, Arby’s called my name. I am weak.
I didn’t exercise consistently, I ate junk and crap, the thing is, I didn’t grow up on that stuff. I grew up farm fed, healthy, fresh fruits and vegetables. There was very little in the way of junk food in our home.
I know what to do to get fit and healthy, I need to stop with the excuses and just do it, in the famous words of Nike. I need to get rid of my excuses; I need to follow my BBFF’s fine example. He and I are a lot alike, in the fact that we do not enjoy working out, but he has done it! He made the commitment to get healthy and fit, he has worked and worked and not only feels better he looks fantastic! Good job BBFF I admire your commitment and never wavering stick-to-itiveness, yes it’s a word.
So, this year, my 50th, is my year, the year I get my life under control, it is said your outer environment is a direct reflection of your inner conflict. If you live in chaos, uncontrolled appetites, you have inner issues that need to be dealt with. My outer chaos is reflected in my eating habits and lack of commitment to exercise. This year that changes.
You will see a new me this year, 2014, you will see a slimmer, healthier, fitter Angie in Angieworld.

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Happy Quarter Century Elizabeth Anne

Today is the day, the day Elizabeth Anne turns a quarter of a century, time really does fly. It seems like yesterday her father and I were checking into the hospital to have her, to meet this beautiful creature we had been waiting for.
The first of February that year was beautiful, it was sunny and 70 degrees when we stepped into the hospital. When she was born that evening it was a raging ice storm, a perfect metaphor to welcome such an unpredictable human into the world.
She did everything fast, crawled, walked, talked, from the very beginning she has been a curious soul, needing to touch, taste, learn about her surroundings.
She is everything I could ever want in a daughter, smart, funny, beautiful and always willing to help whoever needs it.
Sometimes she is too much like me, in saying whatever she thinks, I too had to learn to control that urge. She is learning, I’ll give her that, faster than I did, have I mentioned she is smart?
Before I was even pregnant with her, I prayed for her, I asked God to give me a daughter with beautiful dark hair and dark eyes. I asked that she be independent, beautiful, smart, funny and believe in Him. I asked for a daughter that had a deep love of family, that was caring, that could accept others as they are and that she love animals. I know that last part is strange, but I come from a long line of animal loving people. Sometimes I think we like them better than we like people.
She is living proof that God does respond to prayer, I got what I asked for and more, she is an awesome daughter. The older she becomes, the more I like what I see in her, I like that she grows with each situation and learns from them.
She doesn’t accept the status quo; she is proactive in changing her situation, which I am most proud of.
She works harder than most men, physical labor, however she keeps her femininity, she exemplifies what it means to be a woman. She doesn’t rely on her looks to get by; she makes her own way, the way she wants, not what society dictates to her.
As she grows, she will only get better, by the time she is my age she will be the undisputed Empress, I will gladly abdicate to her.
Happy Birthday Elizabeth Anne, you are everything a mother could ever hope and pray to have in a daughter. I am so proud of you and the woman you have become.

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Thank You

I would like to thank everyone for their words of encouragement yesterday, especially Elizabeth Anne who suggested a plastic surgeon. She knows I so want plastic surgery; two things keep me from going, money and fear.
I fear that once I start I won’t be able to stop, look at the celebrities who have it, they do not stop, Courtney Cox doesn’t even look like herself anymore and she was so pretty in Friends.
My mother used to tell me true beauty starts from the inside and works its way outward. I never really bought into that until later, when I looked at my mother in her 80’s and she was so beautiful.
So here I sit, pondering my future, wondering, always wondering, however, that is just me. I have read too many romance novels to know that it is only the young and beautiful that have excitement in their lives. I am past excitement, romance, the thrill of youth.
I never really had any of that in my youth, I married at 19 and started having children. My children have always been the loves of my life, I don’t regret having them when I did, I’ll always be grateful that I got to have the ones I did.
My biggest regret in life is not finishing my journalism degree, which I truly regret. I love words; nothing takes the place of the written word. Even on the Internet I truly do not enjoy videos, I like reading the news story better than watching an interview. Although some articles written on the Yahoo news site is incomprehensible, how do they hire these people? Some aren’t even written at a 5th grade level, horrible writing, biased leanings, just give me the news! Tell me what happened, do not interject your opinion, I miss true news reporting. Someone dig up Walter Cronkite, if you don’t know who that is, please look him up, he was awesome. At one point he was the most trusted man in America, no one trusts news reporters now. They interject their own agendas into the reporting, it is a travesty.
I know I got sidetracked, so back to me, in my dotage I vow to be more like my mother, seeing the good in people. Living life as it comes to me, not wishing for something I never had and will never have.
Even though now, when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize the woman staring back at me, I saw a gray hair yesterday. Must purchase new hair color.

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Depressed

As I sit and ponder my looming birthday the enormity of my age weighs heavily on me.
Questions form in my mind, will I start to fall apart? Will I begin to get health problems? I see my peers on Facebook complaining of things that ache or high blood pressure, high cholesterol and how their bodies are betraying them in other ways.
I am ridiculously healthy, even for being as fat as a pig I have normal cholesterol, normal triglycerides, normal everything. I have never had a broken bone, never had a broken anything really. Wounded pride yes, broken heart no. I do have low self esteem however I believe every woman has that. Almost every woman. I know there are some that love everything about themselves.
Getting older does not signify getting better for me. It signifies rejection on a different level.
My looks will be rejected even more so now, my body will begin to reject itself and my mind may reject knowledge. The world at large will reject me based on my age and looks, I am used to being rejected based on my looks, however now it will be taken to a different level. Wrinkles, gray hair and sagging body parts await me. Growing old bites!!