Yesterday was my day off and I did nothing, yes, nothing, well a few loads of laundry, but really, I did nothing. And it was good. I did manage to watch a documentary on Ronald Reagan, they showed the moment when Nancy Reagan said goodbye to him. It still breaks my heart and I sob like a big fat baby, watching her heartbreak. Saying goodbye to a man she had loved so passionately for so long, just sad.
My stomach hurt yesterday, I think I am getting what the Irishman had, finally, I want to lose 20 pounds in two weeks. Keep your fingers crossed for me! So not fair that a person who does not need to lose weight got that particular illness. I don’t know why good things can’t happen to me.
Sunday night was another new episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, an explosive episode, the show down between Jacqueline and Teresa. I fully believe both women are wrong at that juncture, I know Jacqueline was concerned for Teresa, seeing all of the tabloid reports, however, you can’t expect your friends to tell you every detail of their lives. Now, on the other hand, seeing the tabloid, Teresa is going to jail, perhaps Teresa should have told Jacqueline, if things were really that bad I would have told you. Absolutely. It obviously is fine if Teresa is doing so much construction to her home, adding carports and garage apartments, not something that is cheap. Even if your husband does that for a living, you still have major expenses. I do not believe she doesn’t have control over the covers that she gets paid for; the tabloids are a different story. Those print whatever they want, they don’t care and they only pay informants. So both women in the wrong, seriously a 5 hour argument??? No way I would have sat there for that beating; I would have been done with that in 5 minutes.
Dallas was last night, I am seriously loving this evolution of the show, I love that they kept the theme, updating it of course, but the same sweeping tones, showing scenes of the city I love so much. The pure evilness of JR, just wow, Larry Hagman has not lost a bit of his timing. The younger actors could take more than a few lessons from him, he is pure greatness. One can tell he simply delights in playing this character, it comes across in his delivery, his expressions, everything. Love it, will continue to watch it.
So the Irishman has a new schedule that he begins next week, he will be working Friday through Monday, the only day off we will have together is Wednesday. With the new schedule, this week he works 6 straight days. So we had no day off together, we used to have Sundays, but this Sunday he will be at work, did I mention the hours, 11:00 am to 9:30 pm. It really is as if we are having a long distance relationship and we live together.
Cabana Boys and Starbucks
I need a vacation, a vacation where all I do is sit on a beach with a cabana boy bringing me alcohol treats with little umbrellas adorning the glass. I have so much to process right now, a vacation would do me good, my mind and my heart are full.
There is a part of me that wants so badly to go back home and be near my family, I miss them so much, it was so amazing seeing them this weekend. However I feel like I didn’t get to catch up with everyone, I could sit and talk to Richard for hours about family history. Listening to Larry’s stories was just greatness, I love his wife Donna, she is just a sweetheart. I feel as if I didn’t get to visit with Cindy long enough, I need to visit her one on one, but it was good getting to know Paula’s girls.
I will not be moving back to Oklahoma, I like Texas too much; it is just sometimes I wish I were more connected here. My children really keep me anchored here; they are Texans, through and through. Even though Jeffrey was not born here, he claims to be Texan. I wonder what would happen if I reminded him he was born in Oklahoma, he would probably just shake his head. As for me, well, I would love to live in New York, or Alaska, even Montana, I want to go somewhere cold, however, I would like to live where they have shopping as well. So, New York would be the best place for me, I don’t know how long I could handle it, before being driven completely insane, but I would love to give it a go.
I have a lot of things to say and I feel that I have a short amount of time to say them in, I don’t know why I feel such an urgency to impart every single thought in my head, but there it is. I feel a need to get it all out, even the inane things, like my addiction to caffeine, and yes I know it is an addiction. Even today I am having an inordinate amount of coffee.
I have it at home then bring it to work with me in my extra large Starbucks insulated cup, so good, so amazing. God’s way of saying I love you Angie, I will believe that till the day I die. I have traced back my caffeine addiction to my grandmother, she used to give me milk coffee when I was little and it grew from there. I will be forever grateful to her for giving me the elixir of life.
The More You Think, The More You Are
It’s Monday and I am exhausted from a very full weekend, I need another day to rest, oh wait, I will have that on Wednesday. No need to take a vacation day, I am loving this schedule.
Well, I ate my way through the family reunion so now it is time to get back to serious eating, my stomach hurt all day yesterday. Probably due to the sweets I am not used to consuming, but it was well worth whatever pain I felt. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Those people can cook, it totally skipped me, for which I will be forever grateful.
So this morning I sit with my coffee, still ruminating the events of the weekend, I will be for a long time to come.
As for now, it is time to get the day started, coffee has to be consumed, shower has been had, makeup and hair to come. The day will be great I just know it, if you believe it, then it will be so. I leave you with this thought, whatever the mind believes the body can achieve. I believe I will be successful today on my job, with my coworkers and in my personal life. Go out and make it happen.
Happy Father’s Day
I am still overwhelmed by the weekend, however today is Father’s day and I feel compelled to write about the two men whom I considered father figures in my life.
The first one was my Grandfather, he was my first male influence, he taught me how to read, he taught me about history, not only our family history, but our country’s history. They were intertwined, he had to teach both to me. He taught me about the land, farming, animals, how you had to take care of both because they take care of you. He was a great man with a great love of life, an amazing sense of humor and a love for God that had to be witnessed first hand to appreciate. He found humor in every day happenings and passed that on to me, to this day I miss him and tell stories about him to anyone who will listen.
Next up was my dad, he was my adopted dad, in blood lines he was my great-uncle, my grandfather’s brother. It will not be surprising to learn he was a lot like his older brother, he had a keen mind, a sharp sense of humor and a gentleness that was hard to resist. He taught me what it meant to help others in need, we might not have had a lot of material things but what we had, was shared. If he saw someone in need that person was helped, immediately. There was no great discussion, it was all action, he gave me a sense of pride in helping others. He had great wisdom, I believe that was his gift from God, wisdom, I didn’t always put into practice what he had to say, but I always listened. I hope he knows that he taught me so much, and as an adult I do put into practice much of what he taught me.
He was a man who loved the land, he was happiest working in the garden with his beautiful wife by his side. You can’t really picture him without her, they were a team, in every sense of the word. Their marriage was simply beautiful, they would laugh at each others silly jokes and sit side by side watching Wheel of Fortune every night. With them I witnessed the most romantic thing I have ever been privileged to see between a man and woman, they read the bible out loud to each other every night. Something so simple, yet so profound, they taught me not to settle for less than the best that God wants for us.
I miss you so much Grandpa and Dad, I hope that you are having the best time in heaven and I hope that you know how much you gave me, a simple little girl, while you were here on this earth.
Testerman Family Reunion
My head and my heart are full, it is difficult to pull my scattered thoughts together. However, I feel a need to get them down before I completely blank out on the events of the past two days.
I left home yesterday to gather with my family at the family reunion, I was both nervous and excited. All of the people there I had not seen in years, all my family, every one of them a Testerman, in some form or fashion.
Of course I got lost, called Cindy for help and she put Albert on the phone, I almost lost it, I had not heard his voice in probably 20 years. He was able to talk me in, and even met me at the road to ride with me to the campgrounds.
I got there and someone said “Hey, that’s June’s youngest” to which I replied yes I am. My aunt Laura Fay jumped up and grabbed me and hugged me, I think it was the best hug I have had in a really long time. I saw my uncle J.H., looking just like my grandmother, he favored her so much. I grabbed his hand, I saw Larry and Richard who both came over and just hugged me. It was all I could do not to bawl like a big fat baby. Richard told me that he used to spend weekends with my mom and dad, how he had loved them, and there had been no one like my mom. It is a strange family history when one is adopted by family, you see Richard was talking about my adopted mom and dad. And I agree wholeheartedly, there was no one like my mom, so good hearing it from others. We shared our memories of our grandparents, our aunts and uncles and other cousins. We remembered the ones that had passed on, we laughed at our hijinks as children and looked at the younger generation knowing they would try some of the same things we had done.
We shared our history, the stories we had all heard and everyone contributed bits and pieces that others had not heard before. I found out that I am part of the family lore, a thing that happened when I was in elementary school. I wont repeat it here, but it is funny and it was amazing hearing it being told. Albert told it, he said “I heard of one of us kids that in school said…..” I squealed with delight and said OMG that’s me! He laughed and said he knew that. Pure greatness.
I found out that one of my favorite aunts, Linnie, her middle name was Cordelia, explains why I am so fond of that character. I found out I had been missed, my cousin Amy told me that she felt I had just fallen off the face of the earth. That everyone would talk about me, but no one knew where I was. I am so grateful for facebook for taking me back home.
From the minute I walked into the reunion, I felt loved, welcomed and wanted, I will miss them until I see them again.
Goals and Reality
I meant to wake up much earlier, however, last night I took two Tylenol pm’s and slept for 12 hours. I have to stop doing that, I don’t like sleeping more than 8 hours, I feel like I am sleeping my life away when that happens.
I have a lot of errands to run, then it is off to Oklahoma, if I decide to go today, I still am undecided, I guess I will know when I get in the car and start driving north. Being in Oklahoma has a way of renewing my soul. Right now I am sitting here, enjoying my coffee, the television is on with an old episode of the Dick Van Dyke show playing. It is a great start to what I know is going to be a great day.
Had a terrific conversation yesterday with a friend regarding goals, listening to God and what to do to achieve the goals that He has in mind for you. I know what I want to do with my life, I think I have always known. I have taken paths that will only enrich what I want to do, what I know I am meant to do with my life. It is my passion, it is my soul, I have been doing it forever on a private basis. In the recent years you all have been the recipient of my passion.
Yes, it is writing, not only writing but writing about my opinions, whether people want to hear them or not, or I guess I should say read them. If you don’t agree with what I have to say, then you have the option to not read.
I have very controversial opinions rattling around in my head, I wold love to write about them, however feel that some people would become incredibly upset. The older I get the more I seriously don’t care if people get upset with my opinions.
Ronald Reagan, I loved him, he stood for things, that today, people are apathetic toward, he stood for pride in America. He stood for defending our country and he loved his wife Nancy above anyone and anything on earth.
I am passionate about history, the history of this country to be exact, I am passionate about knowing what was in the heads and hearts of our ancestors as they fought for freedom. I wonder what they would have thought about the way the country has turned out so far. I am fascinated by Thomas Paine, it was his words that galvanized a rebellion. I would love nothing more than to spend time researching him, going to the LIbrary of Congress to find all of his works, perhaps even a diary or two, to really get into his thought process.
I have so much I want to say and feel I have so little time to say it, well, must stop saying it for now as I do have to start my day, run my errands, pack my bag and run away from home!
Zombie Behavior and Relationships
There is a pair of turtles that have been together 115 years that is a long time, recently the female apparently has become disillusioned with the relationship. She began biting the males shell, letting him know she was not happy. I wonder what he did to deserve such treatment; did he not clean the home? Did he leave food on the floor? What does one do to deserve shell biting?
It made me think, if a couple has been together for over one hundred years and cannot make the relationship work, then what hope do the rest of us have? Will I eventually begin some aberrant behavior to get rid of my partner? Hopefully I will not bite him; I am not on bath salts, nor a zombie, so I don’t think that will happen. So here is the thing, when we are done, what do we do to drive the other person away? Do we realize we are doing it at the time? I have no answers to these questions, I was just curious.
Tomorrow I am going to Oklahoma for my family reunion, a little nervous, a lot excited and happy to see everyone. I can hardly wait to get going, errands in the morning then I plan to head out around 11:00 am. I don’t know when I am coming back, Saturday or Sunday, still not sure, will pack for both days. Tried to talk Elizabeth Anne into going with me, she said she is not sleeping in a tent. Next year I will plan better and rent a hotel room. It was too late this year and they were wickedly expensive, so earlier in the year book it I will.
Word of the day is altruistic, meaning: unselfishly concerned for or devoted to the welfare of others. Used in a sentence: Today I shall exhibit altruistic behavior in regards to my fiancé and not bite his shell.
Stagnation = Death
Do you ever feel like your life is standing still? That is called stagnation, if your life is standing still it is stagnating. My grandpa used to say that one should never be content in life, contentment leads to stagnation and stagnation leads to death. He was always reading, always learning, always doing, he was a great man and a great example of a life well lived. No, he wasn’t wealthy in material means, he was wealthy in knowledge, in faith and in love. Yes even a cynic like me can recognize when someone loves well, I wish I were more like him.
You see I feel like I am stagnating, I am not moving forward in my life, I feel like I took a turn somewhere I wasn’t supposed to. I should be in a different place now, I should be doing something with my life. Defending the helpless, making a difference, perhaps even furthering my education. I feel as if my grandfather would be disappointed with the life decisions I have made. I never wanted to let him down, of all the people that have influenced me, he is the one person that I never wanted to disappoint.
I don’t know what I want to do, or what I should do to get my life moving forward again, I don’t know where to start. I know only I can make those decisions, I have often said that I wish God would come down and show me the map of my life. Show me what turns I am supposed to take, the forks in the road to avoid. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you look at it, we have free will. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy my free will, however once in a while being told what to do would be nice. Like when we are children, wear this, eat this, don’t stick your hand in the fire. Things of that nature, I really wish someone would have told me, don’t stick your hand in the fire. Metaphorically speaking, of course, as adults, we are expected to already know how to make the correct decisions for our lives. However it is not always so simple, so clear cut.
There are days I feel as if I am drowning in a sea of apathy, no where to go, no one to turn to, then I remember the one constant in my life. God. He is always there, and he always listens. I still want him to tell me where I am supposed to go and what road my life is supposed to go down. However I am the only one that can make these decisions, I really, want to make the correct decisions.
The Horrible No Good Morning
I have so many thoughts in my head, not a great morning, rough start, another bad Starbucks experience. When oh when will I learn? NEVER go to the Starbucks at Campbell and Central in Richardson, TX. I used to love that one, it is where the Irishman and I used to meet during his split shift. We had a lot of good talks and laughs at that Starbucks, but this early morning crew just cannot get it together. I am paying you money! Listen to what I want! Is that really so hard? Never again, lesson totally learned now.
I shall take a moment and breath, relax, release, Whitley Gilbert taught me well, there I feel much better.
Today is my first Friday, I know you all are tired of hearing about that, however I shall never get tired of stating it. Tomorrow will be spent doing laundry and getting ready to go out-of-town Friday. I am going to my Testerman family reunion and I am so excited and nervous.
Yes nervous, these are my real cousins, my real family line, as you all know I was adopted. However I was adopted by my great-aunt and uncle, so I stayed in the family. However, this branch are the ones I grew up with until my aunt and uncle adopted me. I have not seen some since I was 12 years old. Some I have not seen since my grandmothers funeral, some I have not seen in roughly 20 years.
I am most excited to see my cousin Cindy, she was always more like a sister than a cousin. I have missed her greatly and cannot wait to hug her. I know some might think this is crazy, that I have not seen them in so long. Life gets in the way, that is all there is to it, nothing more, nothing less.
This is also Father’s Day weekend, it makes me miss my dad and my grandpa, a lot, they were my male role models. The ones that taught me how men were supposed to treat women. The ones I have been searching for all my life it seems. Since my grandfather and father were brothers in reality, they were so similar. They both had strong morals, both strong Christian men who studied the word of God. They both had a great love of the land and farming, animals and family. I miss them both terribly, I wish I still had them to go to and ask their advice on different matters.
Enough, I am going to make myself cry, way too early and it has been way too horrible of a morning. I have come to a decision, I cannot force myself to watch the Choice, no matter how much I want to support Dean Cain. I have found re-runs of Lois and Clark; the New Adventures of Superman on the HUB, Sunday nights. I will stick with that, at least it is fun-filled, less bimbos and, well, Dean is in tights.
Weekend Update
There was a lot happening this weekend, it all started Friday evening, meeting with Paulina for my Susan G Komen volunteer assignment. I was to be a race monitor, that meant I would have a golf cart, very excited about that, and yes, it was as fun as I thought it was going to be. We met with Sergeant Spears of the Plano police department and she gave us the 411.
Saturday I was at the site at 6:00 a.m., yes, very early on a Saturday, picked up my volunteers and carted them off to their assignments. We had Parkwood; I dropped my people off at the barricades, with instructions not to let anyone in a car onto the race side of the street. I got to drive up and down making sure it was all going ok and there were no issues. I had one mother and daughter team that I dropped off, gave them their instructions and left. I drove back by; they were laying out on the road. I thought surely that is not them getting a tan, or perhaps they thought I meant for them to be human speed bumps, or maybe they had passed out from heat stroke. I stopped asked it all was well and they very happily informed me that they were great. Drove by again, they had moved on to petting a puppy on the opposite side of the barricade. I thought Lord don’t let anyone offer these two some candy, drove back by, they were gone. So if anyone knows what happened to these two, please let me know.
After the volunteer gig, I went to visit Jeffrey and Tessa, great visit, so much fun, I just adore that girl. I cannot believe she will be going to kindergarten in the fall. It just doesn’t seem possible, I remember the day she was born, she has owned my heart since that day.
When the Irishman came home Saturday evening, he said so are you going with me tomorrow? I said what is tomorrow? He looked at me and said I have asked you no less than three times to go with me to see Ireland play in the European playoffs. Of course this was foreign talk to me, however, one thing I understood quite well. Pride. Pride in the place you come from, he was immensely proud that his home country had made it this far in the competition. So I said yes, I would go with him, I am glad I did, it meant a lot to him that I was there with him. The look in his eyes when his team took the field, was very moving, I got a little misty eyed for him. His team did not win, but it was amazing that they had gotten so far to begin with.
That is the end of my exciting, fun filled weekend. Next up, family reunion, I can hardly wait!
Angie World 