Starbucks, Weight and Plastic Surgery

I have two problems today, well, ok honestly more than two, however two that are bothering me. First up, caffeine, coffee in particular, Wednesday my stomach started hurting. I believe I told everyone I was finally getting what the Irishman had and I was going to lose weight. Was very excited, however the pain went away as the day went on, I thought oh well. Then yesterday it came back with a vengeance, I narrowed it down to coffee, yes, my love betrayed me. The pains started about 45 minutes after I had ingested coffee, my co-worker and friend Jason said it was a sign I should give up coffee, he has been harping on this particular subject for a few weeks. I advised him that no one in their right mind would want to see me off of coffee.
I was talking it over with the Irishman and he said the pains started when I changed coffee brands, I have a habit of buying whatever is on sale and Costco had one on sale that I had picked up. I had never bought this particular one and I thought maybe he has a point. So this morning I am experimenting, I stopped at Starbucks and picked up a coffee. We all know that Starbucks and I have a very special relationship and they have never let me down. Well, yes, they have but it has been certain locations, not the brand in general. I stopped at my favorite location, Custer and Parker, love that one, today proved no different. Fast, friendly and professional, they are simply terrific. I’ll keep you all informed about the results of my experiment.
Next issue, my weight, come on you all had to see that coming a mile away. Yesterday I told Jason I need to lose 49 pounds; he just stared at me like I had lost my mind. He said Angie no way you need to lose that much, you’ll look bad, just bones. I explained to him since he is a black man he doesn’t understand; don’t be shocked, we have open honest conversations about what it means to be white or black in any given situation. So I explain to him that white men don’t like women who are not skinny, they want the size double 0. He said that is crazy, I said well welcome to my life. So when my other friends and co-workers Kissa and Kay come in, the conversation comes up again, this time, I was informed that I do not have a white girl figure, that I have more of a black girl figure with hips and thighs and those are never going away.
They are probably correct, as long as I can remember I have had huge hips and thighs, nothing makes them go away, even when I was a size 4, they were enormous. I don’t know what to do to get to where I want to be. I want to be so skinny that people tell me I need to eat; I have always wanted that, I think I need to stop eating altogether that might solve it. I work so hard for nothing, I’ll never be skinny, I’ll never be pretty enough, smart enough, oh wait, never mind the last one, I am really smart, except on this issue, then I turn into a crazy woman. If anyone knows how I can get white girl skinny, with really skinny thighs and hips, please tell me your secret, without plastic surgery. Can’t afford that at this point in my life.