Today is Wednesday and once again I have started New Boot Wednesday, I am very excited about this. I have rockin boots on, with a cute skirt, I am ready for fall. If I dress for fall and winter it will come, I am convinced. I hate the heat, I long for the cold and wet and above all else snow. I long for snow, I know my emotional state would go back to normal if it snowed. I am very fragile right now, the least thing makes me cry. I am beginning to hate commercials and I really hate sappy shows right now.
Last night was Ringer, on the CW, and let me tell you, Sarah Michelle Gellar is outstanding, this role is perfect for her. I suggest everyone watch it, we are three episodes in and I am sold on it. I love this time of year, you get so much bang for your buck, it is boot season, the weather is cooler and we finally have new television shows and new episodes of returning shows. I cannot wait for Bones to come back on, that is one of my favorites. It is so good to see so many Whedon alumni’s on the air this season. Best of luck to all of them.
I hope everyone has a great new boot day, a good Wednesday and a fantastic Hump day!
More Angie and the Irishman
I always said I would never marry again, the first marriage traumatized me so much, I didn’t trust anyone, not men, not women, no one. It took a long time for me to even date, I divorced in 1993 and the Irishman was the first man I had seriously dated since. There had been dates, but nothing that lasted beyond a 2nd or 3rd date. No, he was the first serious contender. And to be honest, I never really thought of marriage to him. I was happy dating, I thought we were committed, why ruin it.
Actually I never thought about it, not even with a why ruin it, I would tease about running away to Vegas to our co-workers because that was fun to see the looks on their faces. But I was never serious. He asked several times, over the years, in text message, on twitter once, and once in a facebook game.
Then came our two year anniversary, he took me to eat at my favorite restaurant, Mexican of course, then off to see TSO in concert. I had on a great outfit, with amazing shoes. He kept acting squirrely all night, saying things like, two years is a long time, and we have been dating a while. I would say yes, it is and we have. Then after the concert, in the parking garage, in his car, he took the ring box out of his jacket pocket and said oh there’s one more thing, will you marry me. I took the ring and stared at it for a long time, and then told him I was going to say yes, but wanted him to know it would be a long engagement. Years in fact. He said he understood. Said I made him the happiest man on earth that I was the love of his life, the one he was meant to be with. His destiny.
So here we are almost two years later, I am still engaged to the Irishman, I still don’t know about getting married. We live together, we have a tentative date of this New Years Eve, however if it happens it won’t be a wedding, it will be us getting married and having a party later to celebrate with our friends and family.
A Good Start to a Bad Month
Today I participated in the MK5K, it was for the Mary Kay Foundation that provides money for cancer research to cure cancer in women, and also to fight against domestic violence. I walked in memory of my friend Sandi. This month marks the first anniversary of her passing. I still cannot believe she is gone, after a 20 year battle with breast cancer. I still say she won in the end, she fought a courageous battle, with dignity and grace. I can only hope if something happens to me I will behave in the same manner. I still miss her every day, I cried for about half of the walk, such a huge part of my life is missing. She was my rock, my cheerleader, my mentor, my life coach, and simply a friend.
This month also marks the anniversary of my son’s passing, on the date it will be 27 years, I still miss him as well. I look at my remaining children and think, which one would he look like? He and Elizabeth looked so much alike, but then Jeffrey and Michael looked so much alike, when Tess was born she looked exactly like Michael, it literally took my breath away. It was almost like God gave him back to us in her.
October is a hard month, this year is harder than last, for so many reasons, I am searching for something positive in my life. I have a fantastic daughter, Elizabeth, who amazes every day with her humor, her beauty, her brains and her very existence. Plus she is the only one of my children who reads this, so she gets extra brownie points. I wish I had more to be positive about, I am normally a positive person, I enjoy being positive. I have never let anything get me down for too long, so I hope this apathy passes soon.
Today was positive, it was exactly what I needed to take myself outside, well me, and not think about anything, just walk. I finished the 5K in 58 minutes, not too bad for no training, and me being an old woman. I am kinda proud of that. I am also proud that I could contribute some funds to the Mary Kay foundation. Every dollar helps.
Weight Loss Journey
I began my quest to lose weight in May of 2011, so far I have lost 26 pounds, I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, or like it was a fast loss, but being only 5’4″ every pound shows up. Some weeks have been easy and the weight has fallen off, others have been fraught with temptations, and yes I have fallen. There was my bout with fried chicken, disaster, I however have not fallen off the wagon for my old nemesis sugar. I have had no sour skittles, no candy at all, I have found skinny cows to replace that bad habit. But above all I stuck to the Weight Watchers plan, I counted every single thing that went into my mouth. The point system really does work, it is not always easy, but it is simple. I am not done, not by a long shot, I would love to be a size 4, I have said that before, I will keep saying it. I am not big boned, the term some people use to excuse their weight. I have tiny hands and tiny feet, I need the rest of me to match. I am still following the Weight Watchers plan and I am still losing weight. I encourage everyone that is having difficulty controlling their eating habits to just start keeping track of what you eat. I was amazed at how truly badly I was eating. I don’t think we realize how bad our habits are until we keep track of them. If I am going out to eat in the evening, I plan my days accordingly, eating mostly fruit during the day so I can indulge in the evening.
I probably would have lost weight faster had I exercised, but I have to tell you I hate exercising, however I know I must begin, I do not want to be flabby skinny. I want to be toned and in order to achieve that I must be active. So active I will become.
I hope everyone out there that is on a journey of their own finds success.
A Proud Paris Hilton Reject
So, I heard that someone called me a Paris Hilton reject, so of course I start to analyze that. I am not sure if that is a compliment, because seriously I would not want to be accepted by Paris Hilton, or an insult. And was I called that because I do not carry around a small dog in my Coach purse? Or is it because I am not rail thin (I’m working on it!) or is it because I cannot afford the designers she wears? Believe me when I tell you even when I become rail thin I will never wear outfits short enough to show my undergarments. That is, well, icky, especially for a woman of my advanced age. Oh, could it be that Paris would reject me due to my age? Alas I fear I will never know, however, I do know this, I am flattered to be rejected by Paris Hilton.
On an unrelated topic I am running out of clothes to wear, all but two pairs of jeans are too big, I have one pair of Ralph Lauren khaki pants and one pair of slacks I got from Victoria’s Secret that fit. I do have a ton of skirts I have not tried, however, working United Way fund raisers are not conducive to skirt wearing, lots of heavy lifting and food deliveries. I don’t want to buy new jeans until I am done losing. Ugh! Issues, I have them, in abundance! If anyone has any size 8 jeans they are done with, give me a call. I know I really want to lose about 40 more pounds, not sure what size that will be, but right now I am a solid size 8. Very happy about that! I look amazing! Looking at me you would never be able to tell I gave birth to 5 babies, 4 C-sections. It is crazy, God must really love me in this area of my life, because goodness knows nothing else goes the way I think it should.
Last night the Irishman and I saw Moneyball, we all know I have a deep obsession with sports movies, this movie delivers. Brad Pitt was greatness, Jonah Hill outdid himself, I wish I could hate Brad Pitt and boycott his movies, but I cannot bring myself to do it. I do find I have no issues boycotting Angelina Jolie movies, I blame her in the whole mess, I find I have a tendency to blame the women involved in cheating more than the men, except when the men lie to the woman and tells them they are single when in fact they are not. However, when a woman knowingly enters into a relationship with a man that she knows is in a committed relationship with someone else, well the woman can say no. Good grief just Nancy Regan it people! Have some dignity!
Well I am going to take my Paris Hilton rejected self and do United Way work today! I hope everyone has a great and productive day!
Amazing Happenings
So yesterday I took Tessa to have her picture taken at JC Penney Portrait Studio, huge shout out to those people. They were fantastic, they got such amazing shots of her, not just regular poses, they allowed Tessa to well be Tessa. I spent way too much, but it is the first time I have gotten to take her to do something like that, that is my excuse. I am sticking with it!
I had a ball with my beautiful granddaughter, she is so amazing, she is not only beautiful, but bright, funny and has such great comedic timing! I think it must be a trait on my side, I have it, Elizabeth has it, my mother had it, now Tess. Proof that beauty, brains and humor can coexist harmoniously.
Today is going to be an easy day, the Irishman and I have a few errands to run, I don’t want to go to Costco by myself, and I need help in that store or else I will spend everything! I know what you are thinking, go with a list, well I do, however it is all so tempting!
I have a confession to make, I am severely craving Kentucky Fried Chicken, original recipe to be exact, I have looked it up and one whole wing is 3 Weight Watcher points. I could make a meal on two of those that would only be six points, not cheating at all. I am thinking we may go by and get a bucket for lunch/dinner today. After all it is football day, what goes better with football games than fried chicken??? I know, beer, we already have that, which I don’t drink. You know for someone who, um, well, loved to indulge in such things in high school, I hardly ever drink alcohol these days. Once in a while I will get a margarita, but that is about it, unless I am at Gladys’ house, she somehow has a way of convincing me I need to drink with her.
I have to tell you I have the bravest and best daughter in the entire world, Elizabeth Anne partook in the warrior dash in Tulsa this weekend, and it was her first time doing something of this nature. She came in 3711 out of 6612 of all racers male and female and 220 out of 801 in her age/gender group. I am so amazingly in awe of her. Every day she amazes me more, Elizabeth you are the best daughter a mother could ask for. Smart, funny, beautiful, strong and independent, I like to think I had a little to do with your amazingness, however, in reality you were probably born with all of it! I love you sweetheart!
First Day of Fall, First Day of Boot Season
It is fall, we all know what that means, an ode to boots is in order:
Boots, the word carries so much, so much promise, so much fun, so much intrigue. I love boots, I love the way they feel, I love the way they make me feel. My personality is a little more sassy when I am wearing boots. I feel sassy, I feel taller, I feel amazing in boots. Boots are magical, they have to ability to make one special, I would like everyone to admit when they put on that first pair of boots, on the first day of fall, they feel magical. Like you can do anything, be anyone, conquer the world. While wearing boots I have gotten out of traffic tickets, I have gotten free Starbucks, I have gotten marriage proposals, and yes I trace all of that back to boots.
So, today, being the first day of fall, I urge you all to go out and purchase new boots,be open to the possibilities and enjoy all of the magic that follows.
The Fairy Tale
So the Irishman says he wants to get married Monday, I think he thinks I am going to back out completely. I probably should, but something keeps me here, In 1993 I swore I would never get married again, EVER. Now, look at me, I’m a mess. I think I will tell a little more about mine and his history, just so there is no confusion out there.
It happened very quickly, where he was telling me I was the love of his life, the only woman he had ever had those types of feelings for. The depth of his feelings for me, there had been no other like that. I was meant for him, there was no other for him. Yes those are the words he used, I was his destiny, I wasn’t used to hearing such things, mainly because I never allowed anyone to get that close to me. He kept telling me such things, that since his divorce he had never met a woman like me, strong, independent, beautiful and fun. He said I was the proof intelligence and beauty could co-exist. He had never met anyone as beautiful as I, as funny as I, as smart as I. The thing is, even after all of this time, he still says the same things, he said the easiest decision he ever had to make was asking me to marry him.
I want to believe in the fairy tale, what woman doesn’t, however, I learned a long time ago that fairy tales don’t tell the whole story. I will have to wait awhile to get to the end of my story as I am still fairly youngish.
Thor Day
I bought Thor on BlueRay, it came with a digital copy, of course that has been downloaded to my IPad. I can now watch shirtless Thor anytime I want! Today is a good day indeed friends! I feel my life taking a turn for the better, just with that simple act.
I am beginning to think that I need a remote control for life, much like the one Adam Sandler had in that movie, I don’t remember the name of it. I would not speed up time, I do believe I would slow it down. My life is rushing before my eyes, I am in need of more hours during the day, more days in the week. Especially more weekend days, I would love a 5 day weekend and a 2 day work week. Who’s with me? All for one, one for all!
I have a lot to accomplish this weekend, I need to clean again, I need to do laundry, again, I need to grocery shop, again, and I would love a few hours for fun. I don’t know when that will be. Maybe Sunday. The Irishman has off on Sunday, perhaps he will want to spend that day with me.
I am thinking I need a new wardrobe, I am thinner, a lot thinner, and none of my clothes fit, I do have some that fit, but not nearly enough. I really think the question is, can one ever have enough clothes? Well of course that answer is no, because styles change, trends come and go, I need them all! Well except for the trend of showing ones belly, that one I never wanted to do, my belly does not look great.What I really need is a whole body transplant. That would be great, botox for my neck, awesome! Anyone else with body image issues out there?
More Weight Loss
So this morning I weighed and I have lost even more, I can see my rib cage and I have clothes on that I have never been able to wear since buying them. I went through my closet this weekend and got rid of all of the clothes that are too big now. It is as if I have a whole new wardrobe, I am so very happy! I want to lose another 48 pounds, that will make me heartbreakingly thin, I cannot wait! I am following the Weight Watchers plan, I am sticking to my 29 points a day, I also eat a lot of watermelon. If you put salt on it, that curbs the craving for salty treats.
Yesterday I walked over 2 miles. I am very happy about that, I was not even tired, but I was very sweaty, which means you are sweating out the fat, right? I hope, I hate being sweaty for no reason! I hate to sweat period, so if it is not for a good reason forget about it.
I also got my new boots I ordered a month ago, they are Colin Stewart boots, and are fantastic! Brown suede, with only a moderate heel, but they are knee-high with the fold over top. Very nice indeed. I cannot wait for full on boot season!
Losing weight and being thin makes me happy, it is the one thing in my life I can control, and being a control freak, this totally helps when nothing else is within my control. I can understand why people become anorexic. It is a control issue, you can control your food when you can control nothing else. I do not believe I am headed down that road, but one never knows. I have a lot of body image issues, I fully and readily admit that. I refuse to be seen in a swimsuit, I refuse to show my legs, I refuse to show my stomach, my arms, well you name it. I do believe the Muslim women are onto something, along with the old-fashioned Nuns. Cover everything! However, here is where I differ, I love form-fitting clothes, nothing loose on me! I can’t stand too big or baggy clothing. I know it is strange for someone who has body issues. TTFN
