I think by now everyone has a tiny clue as to how I feel about food. Sometimes, in life, one comes across something so perfect it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.
You experience such sinfulness it cannot be good for you. I have come across such a creation. It is touted as a diet food; however, with that first bite you will not believe it. It is a creamy chocolate outer casing filled with liquid caramel. When one bites into it, a taste explosion happens on your tongue.
You bite into it and the first thing you notice is the creamy chocolate, then comes the surprise. The liquid caramel flows onto your tongue, covering your taste buds in a molten, golden delight. It is quite literally a party in your mouth.
These amazing things are Skinny Cow Divine Filled Chocolates, the caramel ones, not the peanut butter. The peanut butter ones do not have the same eye rolling effect, they are ok, but not heaven sent.
Run, do not walk to the nearest store to purchase these, now, a word of warning, you will not find them everywhere. Tom Thumb does not have them, Target does, grab them, however, do not be greedy, I want to find them when I go to the store.
My Crazy Weekend
The Family reunion has come and gone and I am extremely happy that I went. I saw cousins that I didn’t know existed and cousins that I hadn’t seen since last year and some I had seen in between reunions. I was happy to see my Aunt Laura Faye there; she has become the heart of our family, the elder that we all look toward for stability, guidance and at times discipline. I am happy to report she was good, a little emotional at times, to be expected, this is her first reunion since her beloved husband passed away. However, she showed what she is really made of, sugar, spice and a spine of steel, she didn’t let the younger cousins get away with much, imparting wisdom and love all at once. We are lucky to have her in our family, I look at her as see what my Uncle saw in her, strength, beauty, intelligence all with a sense of humor.
I was happy to see my cousin Sherry come with her husband, even if it was for a little bit, I was sad my cousin Pat could not come. He was sorely missed; I don’t know if he realizes how much everyone thinks of him. He is a truly good man, Pat if you read me you better come next year. I told everyone I tried to talk you into coming! Cousin Cindy can cook, and it’s good!
I ate my way through the weekend; I ate brisket, fried pies, cookies, potato salad, chilidogs and everything else I could see. I totally forgot to be on a diet, it is a good thing I don’t live near these people, I would be 800 million pounds, I would not be able to fit on the campground if I lived near them.
Seeing all of the younger children run and play and get reacquainted from the year before brought back memories of all of my cousins coming to my grandma and grandpas house. I used to love it when they would come, the whole house would fill with shrieks of laughter, and just busyness. I miss those days, I look back on them with the eyes of the child I was. I can see them all so clearly, my grandpa, always smiling, eyes permanently crinkled in laughter. My grandma telling us kids that she was going to be on us like a duck on a June bug if we didn’t behave. Aunt Effie, whose very name invokes peace, calm, tranquility, if a child was in distress she was there with a comforting word.
There is a world that no longer exists that I will never forget, when I sit very still and close my eyes I am transported to. I am so happy to be connected to my family again; I missed them all so very much.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mom and dad an inordinate amount, and loved the life I had in Owasso. It was the best thing that happened to me and took my life in a direction that it would not have gone otherwise.
That does not lessen my happiness with being back with my cousins and it does not take away from what I felt for my mom and dad. Turns out I can have the best of both worlds.
Father’s in my Life
With it being Father’s Day soon I wanted to talk about the Father figures I have been fortunate to have in my life.
The very first male influence in my life was my grandfather; I cannot properly express how much I loved that man. To this day not one person can say anything bad about him in my presence. Not that anyone has anything bad to say, he was nothing short of awesome. My earliest memories are of him teaching me to read, taking me for car rides and buying me a nutty buddy and telling me not to tell grandma. Especially if I was too full to eat dinner after that, but my favorite memory are of the two of us eating apples.
I would sit in my rocking chair (which Elizabeth Anne has now) and he would sit in his recliner, he would peel the apple and then slice it. I would eat the peeling and he would eat the apple slices. He didn’t have teeth, well he had them, but only wore them to town and church, so he couldn’t chew the peel. It was our time, we would just talk and munch our apple, he taught me to love animals, to grow green things and appreciate laughter. He taught me that Jesus loves me and showed me, on a daily basis exactly what it meant to be a Christian. I am so fortunate that man was my first male influence.
I was so blessed to have wonderful Uncles in the mix, Uncle J.H., Uncle Walter, Uncle Albert, Uncle Wayne, Uncle Cecil, Uncle J.D. and so many male cousins. Pat, Albert, Gary, Larry just to name a few, they were all older and all influenced my way of thinking and my moral compass.
They laid the foundation for the man who would become my Dad, he was, blood wise, my great Uncle. He and his wife, my great Aunt would adopt me and become my mom and dad.
He taught me to laugh; life was too full of wonderful things to be serious all of the time. He taught me to find humor in everyday events; he built on the foundations of respecting the earth, taking care of what God gave us. He also had a deep love of Jesus and God, taking me to church every time the doors were opened. Teaching me to respect others beliefs, and learning everything I could about them, in order to witness more effectively. He taught me to read everything I could get my hands on, to educate myself in order to argue logically, and win. He was a great debater and enjoyed the fact that I could, in fact, hold my own with him.
He taught me discipline, a work ethic, be early, he would say, respect others time and smile. Treat others the way you want to be treated and you wont go wrong.
I’ll never forget him, I’ll always think of him as my Dad not my great uncle, he built on the foundations that my grandfather and other male family members started. He gave me a place to call home, a place filled with laughter, love, discipline and a strong relationship with Christ.
Humbled
Yesterday was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Plano, once again I signed up as a course monitor. This is my second year of volunteering for this great cause; I do it for several reasons. First is to honor my friends who are currently fighting this disease or who are living testimonies to wining the battle. Second I do it in memory of my friend Sandi who battled this horrendous disease for 20 years, never giving up, never stopped being her and never let this disease rob her of her dignity.
I do it to let her mother know how much her daughter’s friendship meant to me, I do it to let her sons know how their mother’s life was an example of how everyone should live.
As I looked around, I saw warriors everyone, women who were survivors, proudly displaying the fact for everyone. We all applauded these women and their courageousness to tell everyone their story of triumph. I saw people who came out to show their support for finding a cure, people who were in shape and ready to run, people who were not in great shape and came ready to walk. Some were pushed, wheeled and at times carried across the finish line. But finish they did and raise money so that eventually no other families would have to know the anguish of watching their mother, daughter, sister or friend die a slow agonizing death.
I am proud to give the time I am able to in honor of this monumental task of finding a cure. If you ever have the opportunity to volunteer I believe you will find it a humbling, enlightening and fulfilling experience.
Family Reunion
Yesterday was a stellar day; Tessa graduated from Kindergarten and will now enter the world of numbered grades. It seems like only yesterday she was learning to walk, holding on to Chewie to balance herself and feeding him goldfish. I look forward to the many more adventures she and I will be having as she continues to grow. She is an amazing little girl, I feel fortunate indeed that I get to be her Gigi.
Next weekend is the Testerman family reunion, last year was the first year that I have gone since I was a little girl. I cannot begin to express the emotions that flooded through me. I had not seen my cousins and Aunt and Uncle for so many years. I didn’t realize how much I missed having a family, that family, the ones I look like.
Looking at all of them I see my grandmother’s genetic so strongly in so many of us, I have one cousin, Pat, that looks exactly like my grandfather. I don’t think I can ever fully form the words to express how much I have missed being connected with these people. They formed my world when I was a little girl, younger than Tessa; they influenced my thought process and my belief system.
They all exemplify what it means to be a Testerman, generous, kind, rowdy, loud, boisterous and fun. I can’t wait to see them all again.
The Irishman is going with me this time, so that will be interesting, I think he will get along with them. After all he is pretty rowdy himself, being Irish and all.
My thoughts are racing, my emotions are a mess right now, seeing Tess on stage, singing her heart out, and getting ready for the reunion. I shall sign off for now.
Opportunity
So the weekend has come to a close again, it is with a hopeful attitude that I face Monday. I am always hopeful for a good week, and it will be a good week, Wednesday Tessa will be graduating Kindergarten. I cannot believe how time is flying by; it seems like yesterday she was learning to walk. Now she is running, running toward adventures and learning, she is so smart and funny and beautiful. I hope she keeps her sense of adventure and fun while discovering her part of the world.
I am so proud of my son and the kind of father he is with her, attentive and gentle, disciplinarian when he needs to be. Teaching her consequences in regards to her actions.
The other day I was having a conversation with this man at work that I swear we are related, we think so much alike. We were conversing on parenting, he said parenting takes two things, time and energy and of these the greatest is energy. If you don’t have the energy to teach your children right from wrong, to discipline when they need to be disciplined then you have no business being a parent.
I agree, parenting does take an abundant amount of energy, you are on 24 x 7, there are no off days whatsoever. Everyday brings a new lesson, a new adventure, and a new opportunity to be better.
I still am a parent even though my children are grown, I really only have one that asks my opinion regarding what is going on in his life. One who just wants me to listen and one that doesn’t want me to try and resolve their issues; just be there. I can do that, I am happy to be the kind of parent each one needs at this point. My job is not done; it will not be done until I leave this plane of existence.
I hope everyone has a great week ahead, I hope you all take advantage of whatever opportunity God puts into your path.
Apology or Pandering
So Paula Broadwell apologized for her affair with General Petraeus, which begs the continued question, is she sorry she did it or is she sorry she got caught. I noticed in the news article she didn’t apologize to the General’s wife and children, just her family and friends.
I find this type of apologize pandering, if she were truly sorry she would go to Holly Petraeus and beg forgiveness. Women betraying other women that is really what cheating is.
Paula Broadwell sickens me, don’t get me wrong I blame the man as well; he so totally should have kept his pants on. Of course, according to Pat Robertson he couldn’t help himself, he is a man and well that is what men do.
For now I choose to focus on the woman in this scenario, she gave no regard for this man’s wife, for his family, for her husband, all she cared about was, well to be crude about it, getting her jollies.
If her husband can forgive her, more power to him, although I would find it difficult, given the length of the affair and the fact she was jealous when she thought the general was seeing yet another woman.
Seriously, does this man’s pants actually have a zipper? Truth be told we only know about this due to Paula’s jealousy, if she had not sent an email this would never have broken.
The person I feel sorry for is Holly Petraeus; she is the only victim in this whole, sordid, story. She has every right to go public and tell everyone what she thinks of these women and her husband, that she is not, speaks volumes to her class.
Do we really care that Paula is sorry? No, we do not; this was her way of getting back into the limelight. Some people can’t help themselves; she should have privately told her family she was so sorry she was a whore, liar and all around idiot. That would have spoken volumes to how she wants to repair this horrible breach of trust she has enacted.
Body Image
I just read an article on Yahoo! Shine regarding a bikini for large women, it is dubbed the fatkini, by the designer, not me. There is a picture there of a large size model wearing the suit.
Now I am nowhere near a size 20, however the model looks to be, she is pretty, but significantly large. I went to the bottom of the page to look at the comments, almost all comments were from men. They were not kind, in fact they were brutal, it makes me not want to don a swimsuit at all. Once again I am nowhere near the size of the woman in the photo, nor am I as pretty in the face as the woman in the photo.
This makes me seriously wonder what men think of me when they see me, do they see the frumpy woman that has given birth five times, 4 c-sections, and say what a disgusting lump of a woman. This is seriously disheartening, the hatred and vitriol for women in this world.
We work hard, we have children, and yes, we gain weight and our bodies are less than they were at 16. The comments at the end of the article suggest that all women should look exactly the way they did before childbirth. Now I m not saying that you should let yourself go and just get as big as a house. No, we need to be healthy today, to live to see our grandchildren and great grandchildren, we need to leave the confines of the house and take a walk. We need to watch what we eat, say no to the junk food all the time, a treat once in a while wont effect us if it is not an every moment activity.
However having such hatred for the different body types of women has reached an epidemic, has it always been this way, or are we now seeing it more with the advent of social media?
I don’t have an answer to that, I myself, have always considered myself a looker, I did go through a heavy phase, I have battled and continue to battle that war. I feel at times I am winning; at times I am losing, however I continue to battle. I want to live to see Tessa grow up and do great things. I want to live to see Elizabeth Anne have children and I want to be around to spoil them. I want to live to see Alex graduate college and do amazing things with his life. So I battle on, however, I am now greatly aware of how men see me.
As a lump, a disgusting whale that should be harpooned, I am sad and want to hide in a tent.
Memorial Day
As I sit and contemplate Memorial Day I am reminded of how much my family has given to insure the freedoms that I currently enjoy. From the very first Testerman who came here in 1774, to the Hammonds, Finchers and Kemps who were here before that. To all of the ones that came after them that served in the military of this country to ensure that the freedoms of all Americans were intact and kept sacred.
There are so many of my family in just the last century that served I can’t even name them all, from my uncles, J.H., Walter, Albert, Laverne, and Wayne, to my cousins, Patrick, Albert, Larry to just name a few, I know there were tons of them! I have second cousins that went on to serve, adding women to the mix, Amy for example. I am so proud of them and the hardships they endured to ensure that I could enjoy my freedoms. I wish I could pay tribute to them all, my adopted brothers Jesse and Jim; I have a “real” brother that served as well. Currently I have a nephew still serving this country, and probably more second and third cousins I don’t even know about serving.
It is a long tradition in my family to give back, to make a difference, to stand up for the ones that cannot stand for themselves. I didn’t join the military, although my dad told me I would make a good drill sergeant, I do however try in my way to stand up for people that cannot, for whatever reason, find their voice to stand up for themselves. I was a Union Steward until I saw things that certain stewards were doing that were not ethical, and after voicing my displeasure at their behavior was told they do it because they can, I quit. However, I still continue to stand up for people, giving advise where I can. I cannot be a voice for them, but I can steer them in the right direction.
I fight where I can, I cannot compare, however to the sacrifices made by our men and women in uniform. Every day they go out and fight, protect and honor our way of life. I am proud to be an American, to stand tall in the high ideals of what we should be doing. I salute all of my family on the upcoming American holiday of paying tribute to our fallen soldiers and the ones that served and continue to serve.
Broken Hearted
They say home is where the heart is, while my adopted home is Texas, my heart has always been in Oklahoma. Today my heart is broken, I watched, along with everyone else the destruction that was wrought not by man’s hand but by nature’s hand.
As you all know I am adopted, my family, my blood family, all lives in the areas hit, I am very thankful indeed they are all physically unscathed.
I have lived with the threat of tornadoes the entire time I was growing up; I don’t think I have ever been scared. Until yesterday, and I wasn’t scared for myself, I was scared for my cousins and Aunt and Uncle that are still living. I was scared that something horrible would happen to one of them.
I watched this horrible event unfold, my heart is heavy for my home state, the lives lost, the children. It is unfathomable, while I am heartbroken, my heart has hope, I see the humane side of Oklahoma, once again. That is never far from the surface, my hometown of Owasso was among the first to get a rescue crew together and send help.
If you will remember, Owasso was the first to send help to Joplin, Missouri as well; my heart swells with pride at being able to claim Owasso as my hometown.
Oklahoma may be down right now, but they are not out, we are a resilient state, having been hit with the hardest times in history, we always come back.
For now my prayers are with Oklahoma’s amazing people, do what you can to help them, because believe me, if you needed help they would be there without blinking.
