Yesterday was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Plano, once again I signed up as a course monitor. This is my second year of volunteering for this great cause; I do it for several reasons. First is to honor my friends who are currently fighting this disease or who are living testimonies to wining the battle. Second I do it in memory of my friend Sandi who battled this horrendous disease for 20 years, never giving up, never stopped being her and never let this disease rob her of her dignity.
I do it to let her mother know how much her daughter’s friendship meant to me, I do it to let her sons know how their mother’s life was an example of how everyone should live.
As I looked around, I saw warriors everyone, women who were survivors, proudly displaying the fact for everyone. We all applauded these women and their courageousness to tell everyone their story of triumph. I saw people who came out to show their support for finding a cure, people who were in shape and ready to run, people who were not in great shape and came ready to walk. Some were pushed, wheeled and at times carried across the finish line. But finish they did and raise money so that eventually no other families would have to know the anguish of watching their mother, daughter, sister or friend die a slow agonizing death.
I am proud to give the time I am able to in honor of this monumental task of finding a cure. If you ever have the opportunity to volunteer I believe you will find it a humbling, enlightening and fulfilling experience.
Family Reunion
Yesterday was a stellar day; Tessa graduated from Kindergarten and will now enter the world of numbered grades. It seems like only yesterday she was learning to walk, holding on to Chewie to balance herself and feeding him goldfish. I look forward to the many more adventures she and I will be having as she continues to grow. She is an amazing little girl, I feel fortunate indeed that I get to be her Gigi.
Next weekend is the Testerman family reunion, last year was the first year that I have gone since I was a little girl. I cannot begin to express the emotions that flooded through me. I had not seen my cousins and Aunt and Uncle for so many years. I didn’t realize how much I missed having a family, that family, the ones I look like.
Looking at all of them I see my grandmother’s genetic so strongly in so many of us, I have one cousin, Pat, that looks exactly like my grandfather. I don’t think I can ever fully form the words to express how much I have missed being connected with these people. They formed my world when I was a little girl, younger than Tessa; they influenced my thought process and my belief system.
They all exemplify what it means to be a Testerman, generous, kind, rowdy, loud, boisterous and fun. I can’t wait to see them all again.
The Irishman is going with me this time, so that will be interesting, I think he will get along with them. After all he is pretty rowdy himself, being Irish and all.
My thoughts are racing, my emotions are a mess right now, seeing Tess on stage, singing her heart out, and getting ready for the reunion. I shall sign off for now.
Opportunity
So the weekend has come to a close again, it is with a hopeful attitude that I face Monday. I am always hopeful for a good week, and it will be a good week, Wednesday Tessa will be graduating Kindergarten. I cannot believe how time is flying by; it seems like yesterday she was learning to walk. Now she is running, running toward adventures and learning, she is so smart and funny and beautiful. I hope she keeps her sense of adventure and fun while discovering her part of the world.
I am so proud of my son and the kind of father he is with her, attentive and gentle, disciplinarian when he needs to be. Teaching her consequences in regards to her actions.
The other day I was having a conversation with this man at work that I swear we are related, we think so much alike. We were conversing on parenting, he said parenting takes two things, time and energy and of these the greatest is energy. If you don’t have the energy to teach your children right from wrong, to discipline when they need to be disciplined then you have no business being a parent.
I agree, parenting does take an abundant amount of energy, you are on 24 x 7, there are no off days whatsoever. Everyday brings a new lesson, a new adventure, and a new opportunity to be better.
I still am a parent even though my children are grown, I really only have one that asks my opinion regarding what is going on in his life. One who just wants me to listen and one that doesn’t want me to try and resolve their issues; just be there. I can do that, I am happy to be the kind of parent each one needs at this point. My job is not done; it will not be done until I leave this plane of existence.
I hope everyone has a great week ahead, I hope you all take advantage of whatever opportunity God puts into your path.
Apology or Pandering
So Paula Broadwell apologized for her affair with General Petraeus, which begs the continued question, is she sorry she did it or is she sorry she got caught. I noticed in the news article she didn’t apologize to the General’s wife and children, just her family and friends.
I find this type of apologize pandering, if she were truly sorry she would go to Holly Petraeus and beg forgiveness. Women betraying other women that is really what cheating is.
Paula Broadwell sickens me, don’t get me wrong I blame the man as well; he so totally should have kept his pants on. Of course, according to Pat Robertson he couldn’t help himself, he is a man and well that is what men do.
For now I choose to focus on the woman in this scenario, she gave no regard for this man’s wife, for his family, for her husband, all she cared about was, well to be crude about it, getting her jollies.
If her husband can forgive her, more power to him, although I would find it difficult, given the length of the affair and the fact she was jealous when she thought the general was seeing yet another woman.
Seriously, does this man’s pants actually have a zipper? Truth be told we only know about this due to Paula’s jealousy, if she had not sent an email this would never have broken.
The person I feel sorry for is Holly Petraeus; she is the only victim in this whole, sordid, story. She has every right to go public and tell everyone what she thinks of these women and her husband, that she is not, speaks volumes to her class.
Do we really care that Paula is sorry? No, we do not; this was her way of getting back into the limelight. Some people can’t help themselves; she should have privately told her family she was so sorry she was a whore, liar and all around idiot. That would have spoken volumes to how she wants to repair this horrible breach of trust she has enacted.
Body Image
I just read an article on Yahoo! Shine regarding a bikini for large women, it is dubbed the fatkini, by the designer, not me. There is a picture there of a large size model wearing the suit.
Now I am nowhere near a size 20, however the model looks to be, she is pretty, but significantly large. I went to the bottom of the page to look at the comments, almost all comments were from men. They were not kind, in fact they were brutal, it makes me not want to don a swimsuit at all. Once again I am nowhere near the size of the woman in the photo, nor am I as pretty in the face as the woman in the photo.
This makes me seriously wonder what men think of me when they see me, do they see the frumpy woman that has given birth five times, 4 c-sections, and say what a disgusting lump of a woman. This is seriously disheartening, the hatred and vitriol for women in this world.
We work hard, we have children, and yes, we gain weight and our bodies are less than they were at 16. The comments at the end of the article suggest that all women should look exactly the way they did before childbirth. Now I m not saying that you should let yourself go and just get as big as a house. No, we need to be healthy today, to live to see our grandchildren and great grandchildren, we need to leave the confines of the house and take a walk. We need to watch what we eat, say no to the junk food all the time, a treat once in a while wont effect us if it is not an every moment activity.
However having such hatred for the different body types of women has reached an epidemic, has it always been this way, or are we now seeing it more with the advent of social media?
I don’t have an answer to that, I myself, have always considered myself a looker, I did go through a heavy phase, I have battled and continue to battle that war. I feel at times I am winning; at times I am losing, however I continue to battle. I want to live to see Tessa grow up and do great things. I want to live to see Elizabeth Anne have children and I want to be around to spoil them. I want to live to see Alex graduate college and do amazing things with his life. So I battle on, however, I am now greatly aware of how men see me.
As a lump, a disgusting whale that should be harpooned, I am sad and want to hide in a tent.
Memorial Day
As I sit and contemplate Memorial Day I am reminded of how much my family has given to insure the freedoms that I currently enjoy. From the very first Testerman who came here in 1774, to the Hammonds, Finchers and Kemps who were here before that. To all of the ones that came after them that served in the military of this country to ensure that the freedoms of all Americans were intact and kept sacred.
There are so many of my family in just the last century that served I can’t even name them all, from my uncles, J.H., Walter, Albert, Laverne, and Wayne, to my cousins, Patrick, Albert, Larry to just name a few, I know there were tons of them! I have second cousins that went on to serve, adding women to the mix, Amy for example. I am so proud of them and the hardships they endured to ensure that I could enjoy my freedoms. I wish I could pay tribute to them all, my adopted brothers Jesse and Jim; I have a “real” brother that served as well. Currently I have a nephew still serving this country, and probably more second and third cousins I don’t even know about serving.
It is a long tradition in my family to give back, to make a difference, to stand up for the ones that cannot stand for themselves. I didn’t join the military, although my dad told me I would make a good drill sergeant, I do however try in my way to stand up for people that cannot, for whatever reason, find their voice to stand up for themselves. I was a Union Steward until I saw things that certain stewards were doing that were not ethical, and after voicing my displeasure at their behavior was told they do it because they can, I quit. However, I still continue to stand up for people, giving advise where I can. I cannot be a voice for them, but I can steer them in the right direction.
I fight where I can, I cannot compare, however to the sacrifices made by our men and women in uniform. Every day they go out and fight, protect and honor our way of life. I am proud to be an American, to stand tall in the high ideals of what we should be doing. I salute all of my family on the upcoming American holiday of paying tribute to our fallen soldiers and the ones that served and continue to serve.
Broken Hearted
They say home is where the heart is, while my adopted home is Texas, my heart has always been in Oklahoma. Today my heart is broken, I watched, along with everyone else the destruction that was wrought not by man’s hand but by nature’s hand.
As you all know I am adopted, my family, my blood family, all lives in the areas hit, I am very thankful indeed they are all physically unscathed.
I have lived with the threat of tornadoes the entire time I was growing up; I don’t think I have ever been scared. Until yesterday, and I wasn’t scared for myself, I was scared for my cousins and Aunt and Uncle that are still living. I was scared that something horrible would happen to one of them.
I watched this horrible event unfold, my heart is heavy for my home state, the lives lost, the children. It is unfathomable, while I am heartbroken, my heart has hope, I see the humane side of Oklahoma, once again. That is never far from the surface, my hometown of Owasso was among the first to get a rescue crew together and send help.
If you will remember, Owasso was the first to send help to Joplin, Missouri as well; my heart swells with pride at being able to claim Owasso as my hometown.
Oklahoma may be down right now, but they are not out, we are a resilient state, having been hit with the hardest times in history, we always come back.
For now my prayers are with Oklahoma’s amazing people, do what you can to help them, because believe me, if you needed help they would be there without blinking.
Star Trek Thoughts
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, with those words we are taken into the darkness. I have been in love with Star Trek since I was four years old, the characters spoke to me, and the storylines held my interest and fired my imagination. There were times I wanted Spock to be my dad, I wanted to grow up and marry Captain Kirk and Scotty was like a loveable Uncle. Bones was the grumpy old neighbor and I wanted to be Lieutenant Uhura. She was on the bridge, confident, self assured and looked good doing it.
I have watched all of the incarnations of Star Trek, I have stuck with them even when it seemed that they had lost their way. I was not overly fond of Deep Space Nine towards the end; I loved Voyager and was hopeful during the reign of Captain Archer.
When the first “new” movie was announced, and I heard J.J. Abrams was at the helm, I was reserved, although I love him, this was my beloved Star Trek. I have to be honest, he has not disappointed, he has taken Gene Rodenberry’s vision and stayed the course. He has given us a whole new lease on the franchise, by rebooting it and taking it down a different timeline he has opened a slew of opportunity for new stories. New takes on old stories, he is staying true to the concepts of good Science Fiction, tell a good story, give us some gadgets and interweave a moral.
This latest installment did not disappoint me; I am not going to give anything away, no spoilers here. I am going to just say that the characters are true to themselves, the humor, the intensity, the loyalty are all there.
I am still in love with Kirk, I still want Spock as a dad, Scotty is looking less like an Uncle as Simon Pegg has done an outstanding job in adding layers to this character. I still want to be like Uhura, she is a force to be reckoned with, and I love the relationship between her and Spock with the new timeline.
All in all, J.J. Abrams has been respectful to the long time loyalist all the while bringing in a new generation to enjoy this amazing franchise.
I will not get into a debate regarding Star Trek vs. Star Wars, they each have their own merits, personally I enjoy both for what they are. Although, let’s be honest, Star Trek paved the way for Star Wars.
The television show opened avenues for other aspiring Science Fiction storytellers; Star Trek brought it to the mainstream like none other before it had. I feel very comfortable telling everyone, everywhere, I am a Trekker; I will be applying for my honorary status as a Star Fleet Officer.
Still Angry!
I’m still angry, Pat Robertson’s views on infidelity really have me going, this is a supposedly Christian man, so, I decided to go to the source to see what happens to men when they cheat. Let’s take David shall we, this was God’s favorite child, he was so favored he was taken from sheep herder to King. God loved David, then David saw Bathsheba, he wanted her, he decided to take her. It didn’t matter that she was married to his friend, his friend who was in his army. David watched her as she bathed, now, I am going to stop the story her to tell you one of my own.
I was in Sunday School, and the leader of the class was teaching on this subject, do you know who he blamed for David’s perfidy? Bathsheba. I was incensed, I said, hold the phone, she had no control over her own destiny, this man spied on her during her bathing time, this man arranged for her husband to be killed. She could not say no to her king, her sovereign, we here in America don’t fully understand the hierarchy that was in place at that time. Your King was your leader, your father figure, the one that was supposed to take care of you, he had absolute rule over you. God placed kings in those days, he was the ruler of the land, one did not say no to him. I pointed out this Sunday School teacher obvious lack of research, and no I wasn’t asked to leave that one, but it did embarrass him, rightfully so.
I now get back to the original programming, so, David has her husband killed, marry’s her, they have a child, of course she was already pregnant before her husband was killed. So now we have a progeny of their sin, God does not like this, the child dies. Once again we have the evidence of the sins of the father being visited on the child, God did not intend for men to “wander”. We see it time and time again, you do not take what belongs to you, no coveting, not stealing, a hand for a hand, an eye for an eye. Old Testament vengeance, I am not suggesting we take vengeance, God will do that, I am suggesting that if a man really wants to be a man, he read the bible, he follow its teachings and stop this.
It’s not only men who were subjected to God’s wrath, Sarah, instead of waiting for God’s promise that she would have a son, told Abraham to lie with her maid to get a child. Then Sarah became jealous of the child, this child was her fault, she didn’t trust God. When Sarah did have a child, a son, as God promised, she made Abraham send his first-born away, with his mother, her jealousy did this.
Her jealousy has caused a lot of issues throughout history and continues to, I am not going to get into that here, but people, read a history book, do some research, especially if you are a Sunday School teacher. Because I am going to tell you something if you have me in your class you better come prepared, I was raised by people who not only read the bible but studied it, read commentaries, did research, I read those books as well. I had discussions with my dad and grandpa, these men were students of God. They raised me to know the material and come prepared, so you had better do the same.
As for Pat Robertson, well, I will leave him to God, I know he has a lot to answer for, telling a woman to forgive because her husband might be handsome and well men wander.
Adultery Rant
I am so shocked that I am almost speechless, almost; I feel a fine, old-fashioned Angie rant bubbling to the surface.
Adultery, that ugly word, has the power to do that to me, you can all blame my BBFF for this one, he sent me the link to the article. I think almost everyone on the planet is familiar with The 700 Club, it has been on the air for years, the host, Pat Robertson has always been controversial. However, this time there is no excuse for his blatant ignorant reaction to a woman who called in to ask for guidance on how to forgive her husband for cheating on her.
Pat Robertson’s reaction was to stop talking about it, that he’s a man, men wander, he went on to tell her to focus on why she married him in the first place. Ok, that one I will agree with, the next one, is he handsome. What??? Does that imply that it’s ok to cheat if one is handsome, or only handsome men cheat?
Let’s address what the bible says about adultery, the 10 commandments come to us from Exodus 20:1-17. Number 6 says, and I quote “You shall not commit adultery” hmmm pretty strong words, but is that all the top ten says. Let’s look shall we, oh look, number 10 says “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”
God thought it was so important to stay faithful He said it twice, don’t commit adultery and do not covet your neighbor’s wife.
But Pat Robertson says it’s ok, men wander, God didn’t think this was ok, in fact it is a sure fire way to, well, get to the fire.
Of course Jesus is all about love and forgiveness, and if the wife chooses to forgive the husband, that is up to her.
If she had called into Conversations with Shanon J and Angie B, my advice would have been, this is hard, infidelity is hard to forgive, however, I understand wanting to keep your family intact. I would have urged her to seek counseling, to talk to an outside third party. If she cannot forgive and move past this, then she needs to decide what to do after that. The man has to be contrite and willing to put up with a lot of crazy, he caused the crazy; he has to live with it.
It seems everywhere we turn infidelity is being celebrated, the hit show Scandal has its basis in the lead character sleeping with a married man. I just saw a commercial for a summer show called Mistresses, this is not ok people.
Infidelity hurts, it hurts more than the wronged party, if it is within marriage, it hurts the children, it hurts the families. It has the ripple effect, it just keeps hurting.
I wonder what Pat Robertson would say to a husband who called in regarding a cheating wife. Would he have asked if she was pretty, would he have said get over it, move on, women wander. I don’t know how people can share the same stage as him; he does not represent all Christians.
You see this is how Christians get a bad rap, because people like him say it is ok to cheat, Haitians are responsible for the earthquake that hit there, suggesting that the United States should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
I am glad that Pat Robertson exists, I am glad that we have freedom of speech, that way we can hear the crazy before seeing them. Forewarned is forearmed.
Angie World 