Unconditional Love

I tried to ignore this, I really did, but it hurt too much, physically hurt! I may make some people mad, please don’t be mad at me, well you can be mad, but then get glad in the same pants you got mad in. I just channeled my grandma there.

So, on Facebook, my love/hate relationship continues, someone posted that they wanted unconditional love in 2018. They meant romantic love, not familial love, or friendship love.

Unconditional romantic love doesn’t exist, it is conditional. If one is in a romantic relationship, if one person cheats, lies and is abusive, the other person will fall out of love and leave.

It is not unconditional, I have unconditional love for my children, I will never, ever, leave their sides. I will call them out on any behavior that is not good for them or the ones around them. I have done it before, I am not afraid to do it again.

I have unconditional love for my family, now this does not mean I will put up with abusive behaviors, or lies, I will cut them off, I will still love them, but I will not hesitate to put them out of my life. Especially if I have called you out on said behavior and you continue with it. I still love you, but I don’t want to be around you.

Romantic love is beyond different in all of those instances. If you are in a romantic relationship you open yourself up in a different way, you become more vulnerable, telling that person things you would never tell anyone else. Sharing yourself in a way that two become one, in their very souls. It is rare and unique, and it is conditional. It is conditional upon that other person being worthy of that bond, that trust, if it is broken then the love will die. If one person in the relationship breaks the trust and becomes abusive, emotionally, mentally, physically or verbally; the love will die. Once again, conditional love, I will continue to love you if you treat me a certain way. With respect, love, kindness in all aspects of life.

Once that trust is broken, the love will eventually die, it might take weeks, months and sometimes years, but it will go away.

Romantic unconditional love does not exist, it is not real, there are no knights on horses waiting to swoop us up. There are real men and women, who are flawed beings that can work towards making romantic love work. But it takes work on both sides, it is an every day kind of thing, it is monotonous at times, boring at times, mentally draining at times, but it can be achieved. However, it is not unconditional, it has conditions that have to be met.

Marriage is a contract, once it is signed you promise to love, cherish, be faithful, honor and if you are of a certain faith obey. I am not going to debate the whole obey thing here, if you promise that, it’s your business not mine.

But the rest, it takes hard work after the honeymoon period is over, a lot of people don’t understand that.

So, in essence, stop looking for something you are never going to find, look for real, for honest, for loyalty.

As for me, I am choosing to wait for Dean Cain, I refuse to accept anything less than my superman.

And yes, I do realize this will never happen, I am not an idiot. What this means is I am choosing to be alone, due to the fact that I have yet to meet a man (relatives aside) that can actually fulfill his end of the contract. Faithfulness, loyalty, kindness and loving. If you have this in your life, good for you, you found it, but if you are honest you will admit that it is conditional on them continuing to treat you in this manner.

All comments and complaints welcome, feel free to leave them here or email me at angie@angieworld.com.

I don’t understand

There are a few things that I don’t understand and perhaps some of you out there can explain things to me.

I don’t understand people who get in the passing lane and drive the speed limit or lower. Seriously, find the dang gas pedal people! What is so hard about this, you are in a lane that is meant for people like me, who know where their gas pedal is and how to use it. Please, for the love of my sanity, get over.

People who say they don’t watch television. I don’t understand this one at all, I am not going to pretend to, I will look at you like you have two heads if you tell me that. Oh and if you are calling to tell me your television service doesn’t work and in that same breath tell me you don’t watch it. How do you know it doesn’t work? If you really don’t watch it, how do you know?

People who tell me they don’t read. I really don’t get this one, reading is like breathing. How do you get along in this world if you don’t read? How do you get your news? How do you learn new things? I don’t even know how to respond to this when it is said to me. I blink a lot, if you are talking to me and I start blinking rapidly, know I don’t understand a thing that is coming out of your mouth at that point in time.

People who say they don’t like sweets, how, just how are you from this planet. I could wallow in sugar, just throw it on the ground and literally roll around in it. Throw some candy on there while you’re at it, I’ll roll around in that as well.

I once heard someone say they don’t listen to music. How does that happen? Music feeds my soul, I don’t understand you if you don’t listen to music.

Just a few things I don’t understand, so many more running through my head. How can someone have never seen Star Wars? And how can one admit to that?

It is almost the new year, 2017 has been very good to me, I cannot imagine what 2018 has in store for me.

Oh, for the record, I have no hate in my heart for anyone, I have great disdain and pity, but no hate. Hate takes up too much space, I would prefer to ignore you off the face of the planet. I’m really good at that, if I truly don’t like you, then you will know. Because you will be off the planet.

One more thing, vegetarians, I don’t understand them, bacon is really good.

2018 List

I have decided to add Norway to my must see places list. Someone posted a picture of a Norweigan Navy man, and that is all it took for me to become a tourist. Seriously the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my life.

Dean Cain is pretty and will always have my affections and I am going to marry him one day. However, this man was beautiful. If you have Instagram you have to check him out. His name is Lasse Løkken Matberg, his twitter handle is @lasselom.

Seriously, I had no idea that men who look like this actually exist. Who knew they existed in Norway? The land of my people! He looks like a modern day Viking!

I mean seriously, how has this not been broadcast everywhere. Tourism would be out of the roof!

It is almost a new year, I look forward to seeing what 2018 will bring me. 2017 has been such an amazing year, so many great things have been happening. So many great things to come in the new year.

I am not going to do a whole New Years resolution thing, I am going to do a list of things I want to accomplish:

  1. Trip to Montanna
  2. New Tattoo
  3. Maybe a new hair color (still debating on this one)
  4. A writing class
  5. Still the year of yes

Those are the things I have so far. Any suggestions as to what I should say yes to?

Merry Christmas

I should start off by saying Merry Christmas! It is Christmas Day, as most of you know, Christmas Eve is when we celebrate as a family. It was great, except for Alex and Elicia being delayed, however I got to spend time with them later in the evening.

Children laughing and playing, tearing wrapping paper, laughter, conversation. Truly greatness.

Jesus is totally the reason behind celebrating the day, the birth of our Lord and Savior, being together, exchanging gifts as the Magi brought gifts to the Christ child. That is what we do, that is how we celebrate His birth.

I am truly blessed, I know people say that all of the time, it is a saying that is losing it’s meaning. I can tell you, this year, I feel truly blessed, free, joyous, so much less stress than in previous years.

I had four glorious days off of work, much needed, I go back tomorrow, work 4 days, then off for a week. I am going to spend it recharging my internal batteries, organizing my pantry and linen closet and a possible day trip to Claremore. Maybe a drive through Owasso and Tulsa as well.

I know being in my pajamas will also be order for at least a couple of those days. Elizabeth Anne gave me a new blu-ray player, now I have one in the living room and my bedroom. I am thinking a movie day is in the books as well.

4 short days, then I get to sleep, play, read, watch movies, do whatever I want.

My prayer for everyone today, our first holy day, even if it is the end of the year, is that you are surrounded by people you love and that truly love you. I was yesterday, my soul is at peace, my entire being is happy, I wish the same for anyone reading this.

Life is way too short to spend it surrounded by hate, negativity, gloominess and well anything that makes you completely miserable.

I foresee a multitude of Christmases filled with joy, peace, love and Dean Cain.

Speaking of, at Christmas Eve lunch, Tess spots Mr. Sooner (if you follow me on FB or Instagram you know who that is) I said my boyfriend is here with us, she looks at me and says, with a completely straight face “you’re cheating on Dean Cain with him here”. I didn’t know whether to be proud or scared. Going with proud, sense of humor, check, dash of snarkiness, check, family trait of sarcasm, intact.

I’d say our job is done here.

Merry Christmas people, as usual if you have nay comments or something you would like to convey to me you can find me at angie@angieworld.com or leave a missive here.

Here We Go Again

I have been seeing so many people talk about their year, this is the time when you are supposed to take stock and vow to do things differently in the new year.

Well, my life has been perfect from Easter of 2017 to present day, I just don’t even know how God could make it any more perfect. Wait, yes I do, Dean Cain, Dean Cain would make it way beyond perfect.

I don’t know what I am going to do differently in the new year, oh yes, January 13th I will be doing another Doterra cleanse. So, warning, no coffee for thirty days, also I have been wallowing in sugar for the month of December, with no regrets, but I will be going through withdrawals.

I am sure I will be a delight to be around, like I said forewarned.

There is nothing I will do differently in 2018, wait, yes, I will be traveling more. I have a girls tripped planned for October of next year, I want to go to Florida at some point. Oklahoma more, family reunion in June, favorite nephew and his wife are expecting their second child. I can’t not go.

So there ya go, in 2018 I will change that, I will also be continuing my year of yes. I will be saying yes to almost anything and anyone, nothing immoral or illegal, but otherwise yes it is.

Maybe more coffee, after January, oh wow, do you know what I just realized. I will be on this cleanse during my birthday!! NO! What have I done! No coffee on my birthday? No cake? I don’t know what to say.

I have decided on my birthday present to myself, I will be getting my second tattoo. I want a Viking design with the number 13 incorporated somehow. Viking, well because I am one, 13 because that is a lucky number in my family. My parents were married on the 13th day of January and were married 59 years before my dad passed away. So there you have it, my yes for my birthday. No, you won’t be able to see it, I only get them where they will be hidden when I die. I can’t let my mom see that nonsense, she might ground me. I can’t have that in heaven, I’m pretty sure there is going to be a lot I want to see and do, so yeah, hidden.

So there was a huge controversy on Facebook, I posted two pictures of myself, one with glasses and one without. Everyone chose the with, then I made my profile picture one without. The horror! I am quite the rebel.

I miss my old team at work, yes, I know, I still see them, but we don’t sit by each other and I miss them. My new team is great, I already knew almost everyone on it, some I have worked with before, some I have never been no the same team with them. I have a feeling they will eventually find me annoying, as I am happy all of the time. Yes, all of the time, I wake up that way, I go to sleep that way, it is the most amazing thing EVER.

Stormie is so happy here in our new life, she is less skittish, she sings with me, she tries to dance, but I am the better dancer. She knows it, she doesn’t admit it. Ronald is happier, he actually goes all over the house and no longer stays in one room. Peace. We are all experiencing peace, it is amazing. Everyone should experience what I am, God is good, not just sometimes, but all of the time.

Sometimes you just have to exhibit patience and wait for it and then recognize your opportunity when it is presented to you.

I did, and now I am reaping the rewards of my leap of faith.

May you all have a wonderfully Merry Christmas! As usual you can comment here or send me an email at angie@angieworld.com.

Life

I had a thought and I needed to get it down before I left, I have so much to do today and I can’t believe I stopped to do this. However, I believe my sudden insight might be helpful to others.

I have been saying I have no life, jokingly, but kinda serious. I said it to myself this morning, and I thought whoa, why am I saying this.

I literally have the best life I have had in so many years, I am beyond happy. I literally wake up singing and dancing with Stormie. Her singing voice is a bit better than mine, admittedly, but we muddle through. The dancing though, I have her beat on that one. So many years of watching American Bandstand and Soul Train finally pay off.

I live closer to my children than I have in quite some time, I see them more often.

I come home to a place that is filled with peace, that is a true oasis from the chaos of the world.

I have an amazing life and I need to stop saying I have no life, whether it is out loud or in my head.

If you are one who is doing this as well, stop, take stock of all that you have. Your friends, family, pets, the home that is a fortress against the crazy of every day life.

You will find you have a life filled with amazement and great Joy.

God has given me this amazing life and I am going to honor Him from now on. I will no longer be saying I have no life. I will be shouting from the rooftops that my life is joyous!

Peace out peeps! I hope your day is going to be as amazing as mine is.

Disdain

Ok, so, they moved my desk at work, I should be used to this as this is what they like doing. I will miss my old team, we had so much fun together. Giving each other a hard time, joking, helping with complex issues. We are now scattered.

I like the people on my new team, I seriously can get along with almost anyone. Almost. One of my new teammates, that I’ve know for quite a while now, said if Angie doesn’t like someone they must be the devil incarnate.

She’s not wrong, I can find good in anyone. Almost anyone. There are two people on my floor that I have serious disdain for. I take that back. One I have mild dislike and I don’t trust them, the other is disdain and downright loathing for.

This number will soon be going up by one, you see, in managements infinite wisdom, they are moving a certain someone’s group to my floor.

On the same side as my group. I am not looking forward to this event. However, since I am the consummate professional I will be able to tolerate this. They did put me in the back of the row, which helps.

I do like my new manager, I do believe we will get along well. I wish I could tell you her name so you could google her. She’s an Olympian gymnast. Seriously cool.

I am almost ready for Christmas, I have been very busy lately with all of that.

Oh I also have a stalker light. Ask if you would like that clarified.

Till later my peeps. As usual you can leave a comment here or email me at angie@angieworld.com

Shopping

Yesterday I did the thing I look forward to all year. Christmas shopping with Elizabeth Anne. It is always an adventure, filled with thoughtful consideration of the gifts we choose for others, laughter and yelling at each other. Usually it’s the turn here really fast that brings on the yelling. It’s always an adventure shopping with Elizabeth Anne.

I am almost done shopping, just a couple more things then stocking stuffers. Yes, my grown children still get stockings. They look forward to them, I look forward to filling them.

We moved desks at work, not a huge deal, except for the fact that I really enjoyed sitting by my old group. I am positive I will enjoy my new one as well. Some old friends in this one as well as new. Always an adventure and learning experience.

They had put my desk in the very front row, stressful as a certain someone who shall not be named is being moved to my floor. My desk would have been on the beaten path, as it were.

One of my amazing coworkers talked to my manager. Yes, I know, I should have, but being on a new team I didn’t want to be demanding right up front. Long story short, she moved me to the back, it’s all good in the hood now.

I am so ready for Christmas. I can hardly wait to spend time with my beautiful family.

I hope everyone likes their presents. That’s the iffy part, if they haven’t specifically told me what they want.

Oh! Oh Emm Gee!! Ok, so, Jeffrey’s fiancé’s oldest daughter, likes OU! She is officially my favorite! I can’t wait for her to open her present!

As usual any comments, complaints or criticisms can be left here or sent to angie@angieworld.com.

Bumble and Other Stuff

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here, the tree is up, lights are up and the decorations are up. I am missing some decorations, my candy canes and a lot of Christmas balls for the tree. I don’t know where they went, I think I left in such a hurry they might have gotten thrown out. Oh well, trip to the store in my future!
The last couple of Christmases have not been as joyous as they should have been. I will be making up for lost time this year, lights, hot chocolate, looking at the neighborhood lights. I am going to do it all, Christmas music playing as loud as I like, singing at the top of my lungs, yes, I do feel bad for my neighbors.

As you know, if you have been keeping up, I have been listening to a lot of Kellie Rasberry lately, especially on her podcast that she does with her husband Allen Evans. They met on Bumble and they talk about it a lot, incessantly, make it sound so great.

Well the other night I decided to take a look, what a nightmare, it paired me up with a creepy guy that works in my building. Let me tell you, I canceled that and deleted the app so fast it would make your head spin.

I know without a doubt it was God telling me to just wait, He has great things in store for me. So wait I shall.

No dating apps, no dating websites, none of it, plus I am still very broken. I fully realize I have nothing to offer anyone right now. I have massive trust issues, I don’t know if those will ever go away, not even if it’s Dean Cain.

I took Tess last week for her Christmas pictures, they turned out so cute. I dread the day she tells me she doesn’t want to do this anymore. I might cry, and I’m not a cryer.

It is stupidly hot here in Texas, we had a few days where I got to wear sweaters and boots. I am so very not happy. I bought new sweater dresses and new boots. Some really cute pink, over the knee boots, I have yet to be able to wear them. I am so very not happy. I know I said that twice but it needed to be repeated.

Can I ask you something? A serious question, answers would be appreciated. Why are people so mean and nasty to people they call for help? I get it that you’re frustrated and unhappy that your services aren’t working and by the time you get to my department you have had three to four or more technicians at your home. However, that is no excuse to call any company and say the most vile, hate filled and even racists things to the person on the other end of the line.

I was actually called the N word several times last month, me, yes, me. If any of you have ever seen me or seen a picture of me you will know that alone is the stupidest thing ever. But here’s the thing, why would you say that to anyone? I get that you believe you can say anything to people you can’t see, but this is beyond the pale. I’ll be honest with you, if you tell us your issue, don’t tell us to read the account, because I am here to tell you, when you talk to the off shore people, those notes don’t make sense. Tell us what is happening, and allow us to help you. Once you get to my level, you are in the advanced world, we have the tools to figure out why nothing is working and we also have the means to contact field managers and technicians. If it will never work, we’ll tell you the truth.

Stop calling places and screaming like banshees, it will get you nowhere.

I will tell you what has changed my attitude towards the people I speak to on a daily basis. Every morning, before I get out of my car, I pray, I don’t ask God to make people nice, I ask Him to change my attitude towards the people who come on the line. I ask Him to help me be nicer to them, to speak to them like they are human and their issue matters to me. And it does and it has made a huge difference in the way I handle my customers.

I love my job and I love my country, so there you have it. My secret to dealing with mean people is to pray for them before I talk to them and to pray I have a better attitude towards them.

I spoke to one woman last week that told me she wrote a book, I find that fascinating. I asked her if she minded sharing the title with me, I literally burst out laughing and on my break ordered the book. I will be reviewing it in my next post. Bitchie Bells, I cannot wait to read this book! It came last week and I have been waiting for some down time to dive in. This evening is my time, I will be reading it tonight, it isn’t a big book and well, I read fast.

As usual, any complaints or compliments can be left in the comments section or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com

Terry Crews

Ok, so, I was on Twitter and something caught my eye, I know, it’s usually Facebook, but not today, today it was Twitter and it was Terry Crews. He tweeted about his own personal experience with sexual assault. He said he was telling his story to let everyone know that women are not the only ones effected by this plague.

I don’t even know how the man had the nerve to do that to him, Terry Crews is not a small man, what has to go through someones brain to think that’s doable?

I want to start off by saying I love Terry Crews, not in a Dean Cain kind of way, but in a I love his acting kind of way. He’s incredibly funny, I cannot resist a big, athletic man doing comedy, I can’t explain it, but I love it. Mr. Crews made White Chicks, he stole the show. Just greatness.

He also comes across as very geniune, he seems to be very devoted to his wife and children, never caught up in a scandal. I believe him, I believe him when he says Adam Venit assaulted him, I believe it was incredibly brave of him to tell that story.

First off it’s not considered manly in our society to admit to things of this nature. For a man to be the victim in this situation, especially a man as physically big as Terry Crews. For him to come out and tell his story is amazing and brave and deserves headlines. It doesn’t take away from women who are assaulted and taken advantage of, instead it deepens the conversation. Who is safe in this world?

I have to wonder what went through that man’s head at that moment, for him to think this was ok. I have no words, I often wonder what makes anyone think this is ok.

Words are one thing, to say that women allow certain behavior from certain types of men are one thing. The acting out of said words is completely different.

I come from a world filled with men, manly men, blue collar workers. Mechanics, linemen, union men, I have heard everything in the world. I am so not easily offended, I can give as good as I get. I, myself, am pretty intimidating, which is probably one of the reasons I am not messed with.

I remember one time, in the 6th grade, an older boy decided to see if he could corner me and I honestly don’t know what he thought he wanted to do to me. I can tell you what I did to him, I grabbed him and beat the crap out of him. I was a tough little thing, his friends stood around and watched and spread the word, don’t mess with Angie.

No one ever did again in that school, and no other school, nor on any jobs I’ve ever had.

I’m not a nice person, typically things like this happen to nice people. I believe it’s because predators see nice people as easy targets.

I am not saying nice people ask for things like this to happen to them, I am saying predators know who their prey is.

I will tell you I have been mentally, emotionally and verbally abused by someone that told me he loved me. And then began to prove by his very actions it was not the case, and it took me a long time to escape that situation. I should have much sooner than I did, but I did, I am not weak for having stayed as long as I did. As a matter of fact it has made me stronger and just that much more resolved to spend the rest of my life alone, unless Dean Cain shows up. A whole different story.

Having said that, Mr. Crews, I will go see anything you star in, or have a supporting role in, I will watch you on tv, listen to your interviews. Everything. You sir are brave, strong and I want you to know I stand with you, as do your many fans. God bless you, many prayers going to you and your family.