Vengeance. What a delicious word, we all dream about it, taking vengeance on someone that has wronged us. I am not talking illegal things here, I am talking immoral things, I am talking the somebody done me wrong things. As the song goes.
Here is my question, when you have the opportunity to exact vengeance, do you? The bible tells us that vengeance belongs to God; it is not ours to mete out. It is in our human nature to want to right the wrongs, but is it the right thing to do.
I, personally, am a person who has the nature to want to seek out those who have wronged me and mete out punishment. I fight this all the time, I know exactly which relative I inherited this from, my grandmother, I know without a doubt she was a woman that could have sought vengeance and dealt the punishment without impunity. I never saw her do this, but I know her nature as I have inherited it, I am so much like her it is a little scary.
I saw no evidence whatsoever that my mother possessed this human frailty, if she did; she was very good at putting a lid on it. I strive to be more like my mother, but it is a daily battle, the urge to exact vengeance on all that have wronged me is so strong. I fight with it; it is human nature, not a Christian nature. So, to trust that God will take care of everything is incredibly difficult. We may never see the havoc wrecked in another person’s life for all of the things they have done. Because trust me, if they have wronged you, they are not that great with others. They have wronged a lot of people in their lives; it will come home to roost. You reap what you sow, I am a firm believer in that, if you sow lies and you cheat your way through life, then in the end that will come directly back to your nest.
God has a funny way of working things out, I do believe He has a sense of humor, my life is proof of that, my very existence at times is proof of that. If you look closely believe at times He does allow us to see what has happened as a result of the action of others. So, instead of exacting vengeance, I step back, I don’t do anything and simply pray. I actually have learned, in my life, to pray for those who have behaved in a less than honorable way towards me. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to learn, but I did, and I am better for it. If we can learn the hardest lessons in life, to let go and actually walk in faith and not in sight, then our lives are better for it. We have peace where others have none; we have an assuredness that in the end, we get to go home. That is the best feeling of all.
Home
This time of year I become very nostalgic, I miss Owasso the most this time of year. I miss the changing of the leaves, I miss the crispness of the air, I miss the expectations of snow. I miss Friday pep rallies and the excitement in the air, the promise of a football game well played. I miss going to Sonic after the pep rally with my besties. Tammi, Tonya and Pam, driving down 169 with Urgent blaring and us sing off key at the top of our lungs.
Most of all I miss my mom and dad, I miss hearing the stories of our ancestors, I miss the warmth of being in their home. I miss the Skate Ranch on Friday nights; I miss the sense of belonging that I felt there, in that place, in that time.
I have not felt that sense of belonging in any other place I have been to since; I don’t know if I will ever recapture it. Don’t get me wrong, I feel a sense of belonging when I am with my Ladies that Lunch crew, I felt it in my Mary Kay meetings led by Sandi. I never felt it in the PTA meetings at the schools in Plano. I don’t feel at home in Plano, maybe because it isn’t my hometown. Maybe, just maybe, one only feels truly at home in their hometown. I know that is the case with me, perhaps others feel that as well, I don’t know.
I do know I felt a tremendous sense of homecoming this past summer at my family reunion, I have not felt that in a long time. It was nothing short of amazing, but it still does not compare to how Owasso makes me feel.
When I drive into the city itself these days nothing resembles what I grew up with, there are more stores, more housing developments and even the landscape of the school has changed. But nothing changes the feeling that the city of Owasso imparts to my soul. It says welcome home, we’ve been waiting for you, I feel in that moment welcomed by an invisible force. It is inviting, warm and loving, it is as if I never left, the people are the same friendly faces I remember. I drive down Main Street, and while some of the buildings have changed, the feeling has not; it still emanates a slower pace of life, a time gone by, a place where speedy decisions are not made.
I know I will never move back, but in my heart, Owasso will always be my home.
Speed
I find myself irritated today; I would like to remind the people who like to drive slow that you have something in your car called a gas pedal. Accelerate; it is called that for a reason! Please refer to your driver’s manual and learn how to use it. Driving 50 miles per hour on a highway is not acceptable; making it where I cannot pass you is inexcusable. Just a not, I drive fast, it is ingrained in me, I think I inherited it from my dad and my grandpa, that song I can’t drive 55, well I fully believe it was written for my family. My dad used to point to a speed limit sign and tell me “see that number?” me: “Yes sir” him: “that number is just a suggestion”.
I spend more time after getting to my destination asking God’s forgiveness for the things I have said about other drivers than I did actually getting to my destination. This morning on the way to work there were more people on the road than normal as this is Black Friday and they want their deals. It seems the slowest drivers decided that it was a good time to get on the highway. Go back home people; no deal is worth irritating me for!
I stopped at Starbucks today, of course as it is Friday, I got to stop at my favorite location, Custer and Parker, love that store. My favorite barista was working, my coffee treat is perfection and I got a snowman cookie. Don’t judge me; I plan on being fat and happy for Christmas, think and miserable for New Years. That is my plan.
My headshot
My Thoughts on Thanksgiving
It is the day before a major American holiday that most people associate with food, when in reality it is supposed to be a day of reflections and giving thanks. On Thursday, September 24, 1789, the first House of Representatives voted to recommend the First Amendment of the newly drafted Constitution to the states for ratification. The next day, Congressman Elias Boudinot from New Jersey proposed that the House and Senate jointly request of President Washington to proclaim a day of thanksgiving for “the many signal favors of Almighty God”. Boudinot said that he “could not think of letting the session pass over without offering an opportunity to all the citizens of the United States of joining, with one voice, in returning to Almighty God their sincere thanks for the many blessings he had poured down upon them.” Interesting, no mention of turnkey, dressing or football, it begs the question, when did this sacred American holiday become bastardized? It is now only about food, football, dysfunctional families and shopping. Yes, shopping, let us all get up and leave our families, sit in the cold and make a mad dash into the store to grab up some electronic device that we really don’t need in the first place.
What I am proposing is that we get back to what Thanksgiving was really supposed to be about, don’t do away with the food, family and yes you can keep your football, but let’s really give thanks to God for all that we have in this country. Let us sincerely pray for the leaders of our country that they will indeed make good decisions for us and let us pray for our friends, family and neighbors.
I am beyond thankful I was born an American citizen, I am proud to be an American, if you do not want to be in this country, we are not stopping you from leaving. I am tired of people who live here, who are not from here, bad mouthing this place, this country, who has given so many so much. So this Thanksgiving, let’s really give thanks, I know I am thankful that I have the opportunity to work and make the money that will pay for Christmas without me going into debt to provide a nice Christmas for my children and grand child.
What are you thankful for this year? I would love to hear from you.
Christmas Ideas
After this week I have four weeks of work left before I am off of work for 2 weeks, I am so excited I can barely stand it. I will be off for Christmas and New Years; I will sleep till I wake up, hopefully spend some time with Tessa and play with my dog.
Speaking of Christmas, the last time I was with Tess I asked her what she thought she was going to get from her Gigi for Christmas. She said I don’t know but I think it is going to be a surprise. So I asked her what she was going to get her Gigi for Christmas. She said, without hesitation, a dog, a big dog, it’s time Gigi, you need a new dog. I can only pray her father ignores that, because I don’t know if I am ready for a new dog. I am not sure I trust what her idea of a big dog is; I may end up with a Mastiff. One never knows with that child.
For all of you listening to Conversations with Shanon J and Angie B, I thank you, you can now listen to previous shows on our website http://www.convosate.com, the site also has our email addresses on there. Please email us and let us know your thoughts, we would love to hear from you, also anything you would like us to talk about. Send us your show ideas.
Today will not be long, I am very tired and wish I could take a nap before work, however I do not think that is going to work out too well.
Weekend Happenings
This weekend was both uneventful and yet fun filled, I know, only I could accomplish this in one weekend. I admit, if I had not had to go out and replenish my coffee supply and pick up something for Elizabeth Anne, I would never have gotten out of my pajamas on Friday. But I did, and I went on an errand and went to Costco, very exciting stuff!
On Saturday I had headshots taken! Now that was exciting, I want to tell everyone if you need any type of photography done, from family photos to weddings to headshots, J.Renee Photography is the way to go, check them out at http://www.jreneephotos.com, this is the son of my dear friend Sandi, Jason, he is fantastic. It is just amazing to me to see the children I have watched grow up, become productive young adults, not only productive, but talented and just all around fantastic.
Then it was back home to watch television again, love that! I admit I am a television junkie, I cannot get enough. I have no shame about it either, I don’t understand people who say, oh I never watch television. To them I say LIAR, you know they are lying; they just don’t want to admit to the junk they love watching. I fully admit to all of the good and bad television I love so much.
Sunday was spent with Elizabeth Anne; I wish I had the appropriate words in my vocabulary in which I could impart all of the fun we have together. She makes me laugh so hard I cry. We spent part of the time in a Care Now, she thought she had pink eye, turns out it was an allergic reaction to hay. The best part was when she asked the Doctor, can you get pink eye from poo particles, I saw that on Knocked Up. The Doctor said that was a great movie, but no. I was laughing so hard, I had already told her you cannot get pink eye from that. No one ever trusts my wisdom, if it was on Knocked Up it must be true. I told her I don’t think you can go by anything you learn from a Judd Apatow movie. Love his movies but they are not exactly documentaries based in fact.
We went shopping, where she bought something for the gift exchange with her dad’s side of the family, I wish I could tell what she got, but I can’t in case one of them reads me. But it is greatness; I told her I want to hear all about it and who ends up with her gift.
Last night was The Walking Dead, I really should not watch that home alone by myself, in the dark, it is just terrifying. The writing is amazing, the actors are just terrific and it is about so much more than zombies. The range of human emotion and the way some sagas will never change even in the face of the apocalypse is just well done. If you are not watching this show you should really find it and watch from season one, well worth time spent in front of the television for this.
Thanksgiving
Next week is Thanksgiving, for most people it is a time for families to gather and celebrate, well, being thankful. Me, well, I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, not out of any moral indignation on how our indigenous brethren were treated, or because Abraham Lincoln instituted the holiday. No I don’t celebrate out of habit, see when I got a divorce from the father of my children, we made the decision that they would go with him every Thanksgiving.
His family gets together every Thanksgiving, sometimes they go on cruises, or skiing, or just to another relative’s home. I never wanted them to miss that, so I gave away Thanksgiving for me, so they could feel like they were part of that side of the family. Don’t feel bad for me, I got Christmas Eve out of the deal, I believe I got the better end of that stick. The kids got both ends of the stick, they didn’t have to miss Thanksgiving with that side of their family and they got to have Christmas Eve with their mom, and Christmas Afternoon and Evening with their dad. It is what we call an all around win.
Back to Thanksgiving, before I came to the department I am in now, I stayed in my pajamas for four days, watching movies, reading books and eating puffy Cheetos to my hearts content. Now I work Thanksgiving Day and the day after, that makes me happy. Then I get to go home and read a book, watch TV and eat puffy Cheetos. Another all around win.
This weekend I will be alone, the Irishman is going out of town, so I will be spending the next three days in my pajamas, watching movies, television, reading books and not eating puffy Cheetos. Perhaps I will buy some Taco Bueno and it will be a perfect weekend.
Another One Bites the Dust
So, another high ranking man has been caught with pants down, literally, and the mistress appears crazy. Not hugely surprised, any woman who knowingly cheats on her husband and causes the breakdown of two households in my opinion is crazy. I believe by now you all know how I feel about women who do this, I abhor them.
What I find interesting is the comments section of the news articles online, regarding the wife, people are so harsh. They are saying since she is not as attractive as the mistress she deserved to be cheated on. Seriously? That is what people are taking from this? It’s ok to cheat on your wife if she has put on a few pounds since the wedding? Someone you have promised to love and cherish and protect? For 37 years? And this is what she deserved?
What does he deserve now that he has been caught? He has lost his high powered job, rightfully so as that job is dependent on his ability to be loyal. He has proven he is not a loyal person, if you cannot be loyal to your wife and your family, you will not be loyal to your country.
To the woman who set all this in motion by seeing yet another woman as a threat, I thank you; you have possibly saved the country from something much worse. You have allowed all of us to see you and him for the worthless, lying scum that you really are.
As for the wronged wife, I saw her picture, but then I saw so much more, I read about her accomplishments, her character and her loyalty. I saw beyond the physical, and saw someone who had been a loyal wife and mother for 37 years. She did not deserve this, no matter how others might perceive her physical flaws. No one, man or woman deserves disloyalty and pain of this kind.
I hate scandal of this kind, I feel so bad for the wronged party, how do you heal when it is so very public. It is one thing to go through this type of betrayal when you are just a regular person, but to go through it in the press. With every unflattering picture of the wronged party they can find, so people can criticize and pick apart the person that was innocent in all this. It is sad and wrong, the ones that should be vilified are the ones who perpetrated this travesty.
To the woman who did this, shame on you, I hope your family disowns you, I hope they kick you out; I hope your husband takes all of your money and the wife of the man you did this with sues you. I hope you are left destitute, and then maybe you can understand the kind of hurt you have inflicted.
To the man, I hope your wife kicks you out and you have to live on the streets like the animal you are. Shame on you, she stood by you for 37 years, that didn’t earn any kind of loyalty from you to her. I hope she shows you the same kind of care and concern you have shown the world you have for her.
Rant
I am a Star Trek loving nerd, I would rather read than go to a party, I could spend weeks in a museum, as a matter of fact the Dallas Museum of Art has a fantastic bed in it on display. I don’t know if they have a shower but I could totally live there.
I have all of the outward appearances of being a fashion icon, and I am, trust me I love my shoes and boots and clothes, but I love my books more. I know it is a horrifying admission; I hid my tendencies in high school, never coming out of the closet for fear of ridicule. Actually that last part is not true, I never let my geek flag fly in high school because there was no one there to equal my geekiness, I didn’t want anyone feeling less than me.
Now, as I grow older, I find I do not care who knows how truly nerdy I am, I still watch Star Trek, rally anything with the word star in it, Star Trek, Stargate (all of them) Star Wars, the Last Star Fighter, I think you are getting the gist of my viewing habits. I will read anything, almost anything, I refuse to read 50 Shades of Grey, hideous book, sets the literary world back, well, it doesn’t books written in the past were so good, this one just is a joke. Why are people reading this trash? I can’t even get past the grammatical errors to get to any of the “good” parts. And now, now, I read they are making a movie based on this insidious claptrap? How? Why? Pandering I tell you, that is all it is, the world is simply giving into anything lascivious in nature and forget good writing, forget a plot line, forget anything that makes sense.
I find myself more and more annoyed at a world that has forgotten the art of the written word, a turn of a phrase, simple grammar. Lose, loose, two different words, two different meanings, I do believe that people have forgotten that, I see it all the time. Let’s look at that word in a sentence, shall we. Paul will loose the bolt. Paul will lose the bolt. In one sentence he is loosening something and in the other he has lost something.
Sometimes I admit it takes every ounce of self control I have not to correct people on social media. I control myself because deep down I do not want to hurt anyone; however is it doing them any favors by allowing them to continue in the way? It is a gamble, some people might be appreciative, others might cuss you out, and it’s a tough call. I think I shall choose my battles; it is difficult though, when the errors are so blatant, my fingers go to the keyboard, they hover, then, that part of the brain that says, “Hold the phone” takes over and I back away and don’t say anything. I admit, I allow this to continue, I do believe with social media being so popular we are truly seeing how the school systems are failing our children, and colleges. I have seen college graduates make simple mistakes, people with more than just a Bachelor degree, scary.
It is truly horrifying in today’s society that the best seller is a book that is so poorly written a 2nd grader could have done it, and the classics are falling by the wayside. I am sad for our future society.
Angie World 