Tag: Facebook

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Losing our Civility

I saw something on Facebook a few days ago that made me stop and think, not always a good thing people. This person said that they were cleaning out their friends list and if you didn’t interact with him/her then you would not make the cut. Just to soften the message up it was followed by a hahaha.

This is not the first time I have seen this type of thing on Facebook, however, it is the first time I have seen someone come back and tell that person that what they put was not nice. Then the person came back and said they were joking and to get over it.

This is the sort of thing social media was not made for; I take umbrage with telling people you are going to unfriend them. If you feel the need to delete people from your friend list just do it, why do people feel the need to announce it? I have to be honest, if people delete me I don’t notice, I don’t go on my friend list and stare at it trying to decide who is missing today.

I have deleted people from my friend list, I’ll be honest, not because I hate the people, or feel ill will toward them. Sometimes I feel it is inappropriate to be friends with some people, I feel awkward not accepting their friend request. Later, after I have mulled it over, I delete them. Sometimes I don’t delete them, however, I do mute them. There is a function in Facebook that will allow you to still be friends with someone and not have to see every single thing they do. And vice versa, if you post a lot and want to limit what some people see you can do that as well.

I never felt the need to make a very public statement telling the world I am getting rid of friends. With the advent of social media, people are losing their civility; they are becoming snarkier, brutal even, thinking that a hahaha or a LOL at the end of a sentence will soften it. It doesn’t.

I have often said if you want to convey a message to one single person you need to do it voice to voice. So much is lost in translation with texting, twitter and Facebook, this begs the question, are we, as humans losing our capability to actually communicate one on one?

I have seen that some people have a compulsion to tell every single thing they are doing every single minute of the day. When did we, as a society, welcome this change? I never knew what any of my friends, family or colleagues were doing every moment of the day, but thanks to the advent of social media I cannot escape it.

I, myself, have been guilty of this very thing, I have made a conscious decision to stop it, I don’t post as often. I leave some things to the imagination, like what I do with my time all day.

Let’s all try that for a week, let’s leave some things out when we go onto Facebook, twitter, or anything else that is out there.

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What to do with Hurt Feelings

Something happened to me that quite literally left me speechless, because it was so unexpected, so blatant in the fact that someone let me know that I didn’t matter to them. This was shocking in the fact that I have been there for this person more than once throughout the years. How many years you ask, around 30 years.

I can write this because I know if they don’t have time for me, they don’t have time to read me. I feel confident even if they did read this they would not recognize themselves.

I have to temper this with this person is not the only one I have gotten this response from. I asked them to listen to my radio show that I do with Shanon Jay, the past shows are on the website, one can listen at their leisure, the shows are only 15 minutes long, one can even listen in their car if they have a smartphone and an axle cable, or blue tooth.

I later asked this person if they had listened, the response was I don’t have time for that. I thought to myself, wow, what if I had said that to you all those years ago when you needed help. I was simply asking them to listen, as I had valued their opinion, for an honest review of the show. I was told I was not worthy of 15 minutes of their time.

It struck a chord with me, I’ll be honest it hurt my feelings, however, I quickly shook myself off and tried to forget the incident. However, it has left a sour taste regarding said person, especially when I consider friends that I have listen, friends I have not done the things I have done for this person. They listen; they give their opinion and encouraging words.

I received some very good advice today from another friend who said “Ideally you say ok thank you and then turn to those who will support you.” She went on to say “I know I understand hon. I expect people to treat me the way I try to treat them. But sometimes there may just be things in the other person’s life that keeps them from doing what we would expect. Something unknown. Allow yourself to be hurt for a time them move on and forgive them. Maybe they will be there next time. OR (and this is GOOD) maybe God desires someone else to be your supporter this time.”

Very wise advice, I will be taking this advice to heart and walking away, I will remain purely Facebook friends with this person, not really expecting anything. I can tell you this, if they need me in the future, I wouldn’t hesitate to help them in any way I could. Because that is how I was taught to be, in a home, that very literally put God first, putting God first means helping those who are in need. Even if it is something as simple as listening to a radio show.

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Women

Ok, so, on Facebook, where we all get our information these days, someone posted a picture of a billboard. It read, “Monica Lewinsky’s ex-Boyfriend’s Wife For President!” The person who posted it thought it was funny. I do not. Before you get entrenched in politics, I am going to go on the record as saying I am not a fan of Hillary Clintons politics. I am however a woman, and on that has been cheated on and I don’t find this kind of demeaning sign funny.
Let me tell you why, as women we should be protecting each other, lifting each other up and only wanting good things for each other. Hillary did not deserve the very public humiliation she received from this time in her life. To constantly bring it up and throw it in her face every chance we get not only denigrates her accomplishments as a woman, it denigrates all of us. What we are saying by posting these types of things is we thing she deserved what she got. I do not believe any woman deserves what happened to her, she was very publicly humiliated, she chose to stay with her husband, and I hope she made him pay for his horrible choices.
As a society, as women, we have chosen to make her pay for what her husband did, and constantly remind her of it.
Why, as women, are we doing that? It is unconscionable; we really should be a sisterhood. Why are we not? Why do we look at another woman’s misery and insist on adding to it? If you disagree with her politics, her opinions, her actions, then blast her for those, not what her husband did to her.
This type of continued need women have to belittle each other, to knock each other down a peg or two, appalls me. Why? Is Anthony Weiner’s wife going to be subjected to this type of denigration? By other women?
One more reason I love Mary Kay, you don’t find this type of thing happening within our ranks. You find it in corporate America, a lot, in my J.O.B. there is a woman who is hell bent on ruining every woman in the office.
She needs Jesus, although I have found that a lot of the women who claim to have Jesus have this inane need to tear other women down.
Stop it, just stop, stop stepping out with men, who are taken, stop putting down women that have been cheated on, stop gossiping about your sisters. Instead lend a helping hand, reach out to each other, when you see a woman down, no matter the cause, lend an ear, a shoulder or hand.
It costs nothing to lift up a woman in need; you gain everything, self-worth, gratitude, and an eternal friend. We all need friends, we all need each other, this world was not designed for us to walk alone in it. And I do not mean in a romantic way, it takes a village, it means more than raising children, it takes a village for us all to survive. We must depend upon one another for survival, we all have different gifts, we all have different talents, I can do something someone else can’t and vice versa.
So when you see those types of things, no matter how tempted you are to laugh, remember, if you are willing to laugh at someone else’s misery, the person posting will probably laugh at yours.

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Not a Joke

Well here we are, the jokiest day of the year, yes, I did just make up a word, after all it is April 1st, the day when we can make up things.
Yesterday was Easter Sunday, the day Christians around the world celebrate our living, breathing, resurrected Savior. I am proud to be counted among those numbers.
I got to see my children and spend some time with the Irishman, a good day indeed. I hope everyone had a great day and remembered to put Christ in the center of their celebrations. We had a great show on Saturday regarding Easter Sunday and the week leading up to the resurrection celebration. It should be up today on the website in case you missed it. Once again, shameless plug, http://www.convosate.com, all of our previous shows can be heard there, I hope you will give us a listen.
This coming Saturday is a really good show, how to be a Ruth while waiting for your Boaz, I hear and see it over and over. Women lamenting on the fact they don’t have their Boaz, however they are not behaving like a Ruth. In order for God to bring you a good man you have to be a good woman, not perfect, but good. I would also like to point out if a man belongs to someone else, married, engaged, dating; he is not your Boaz. You can’t justify it, God is watching, he sees what you are doing all of the time, so stop.
Spent part of Saturday with Elizabeth Anne, she got a new tattoo, well two of them; she wanted me to get one with her. I told her I would when I turned 50, to commemorate the big birthday, trust me when I tell you she will hold me to it. In thinking on what I will get it will probably be the Aquarius sign, not because I am huge into astrology, I am not, but because I do like the water symbol. Nothing more, nothing less, that is all.
After that it was off to see the Irishman get shaved, if you are new to me I know you are thinking, what. Well I will clarify; he does this every year to raise funds for the Saint Balderick foundation. They fund research to cure cancers that effect children, I am very proud that he does this, it was his fourth year participating. Someone paid $200.00 for him to keep his beard, I paid $100.00 to get it off. Great fun for everyone and lots of money raised for a wonderful cause.
If you want to see his before and after you can check out my Facebook photos if we are friends on FB, if not, I will think about posting them here so all can see the transformation.

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Facebook Drama

Today is my last Thursday as a Friday, I will miss it, I admit I have become spoiled; however, I shall enjoy my Wednesdays off as well.
This weekend will not be an easy one, I am going to the Mary Kay Career Conference at the convention center, I know you are wondering why this will be difficult. I have not been back to the Dallas convention center since Sandi passed away. This was the last place I got to spend significant time with her, at Mary Kay Seminar, before her passing. I am both looking forward to going and dreading the emotions it will bring to the surface. I still miss her so much, there is so much in my life that I would love to tell her, get her sage advice, and hear that wisdom one more time.
I shall not be alone in my adventure, Wanda and Louise will be there as well, we will have each other to lean on.
On to other happenings, apparently I have caused some Facebook drama, I try not to do this, however I unknowingly caused this. Last night Elizabeth Anne calls me and says mom, why did you friend so and so, I said I don’t even know who that is. What are you talking about? Apparently I clicked or touched or maybe by mind control inadvertently hit a button and friended someone I didn’t even know but knows my ex-husband. The only thing I can think of is she must have “liked” one of my pictures that I tagged Elizabeth in and I looked to see who she was, why, because I don’t know her. At that point clicked or touched where I should not have. I apologize if this caused any anxiety on the innocent bystanders.
However, here is my pet peeve, if you don’t know the person who posted the picture, don’t like it, or comment on it. If you do, something like this could happen, I don’t know you, I don’t want your comments on my photos. It is as simple as that, I never, ever, comment on something someone has posted that I don’t know. Simply because you have tagged a friend of mine does not give me the right to comment on your Facebook, I am asking for the same respect. That way you don’t run the risk of me accidently friending you.
There, done, going now, enjoy your Thursdays people, I will talk to you after Career Conference.

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Good News!

I have a lot on my mind and I don’t know where to start, first off, my big announcement, I am going to be on the radio!!! I am so stinkin’ excited! I am going to be on the radio! Starting Saturday November 3, 7:00 pm, the show is called Conversations with Shanon J with special guest Angie B. I am Angie B, in case you didn’t know. It will be on 970 AM KHVN, please tune in, we are so excited to bring this to everyone, we will be discussing issues that effect everyone, with the Christian woman’s perspective. For years we have had these amazing conversations, I am so excited to share with all of you.
Next on my mind is the internet, yes the internet, and how easy it is for some people to forget they are in a relationship. It is so easy to flirt online, no one can see your face, no one knows the real you, no one out there has to pick up after you, or buy your groceries or make sure you have shampoo. All they know is you are good with the words. I am here to tell you, when you engage in this kind of behavior, if you are in a relationship, it is disrespectful to the person you are with. Whether you are male or female engaging in this behavior, I want you to know it is not harmless. It is harmful, also, talking about your relationship online with people you don’t know, disrespectful, you know you had some good times or else you would not have stayed as long as you did. Men and women these days seem to have no boundaries, it is insanity, it is no wonder relationships are hard to maintain, if you are not talking to your partner about what bothers you, then the relationship is never going to grow. It will end up dying on the vine; there will be no harvest, no long term anything.
It is so easy to get sucked into this type of behavior, you are alone, you are really not cheating because that person is in a different state. That is what you tell yourself, but it is cheating, even if it is not physical, it is emotional cheating. Once again, if you don’t like what the person you are with is doing, tell them, if the behavior doesn’t change, then leave.
Facebook has made this so easy, people have lost all sense of propriety, dignity has gone out the window, people think that what they are doing is private. Well, guess what, as my grandmother used to say, it all comes out in the wash. If you are on Facebook and are engaging in behavior that is less than respectful to others, you will be found out. It will be made public; you have to ask yourself, is it worth losing my partner over? Is this person I have never met worth it?

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Narcissism

Facebook has brought out the narcissist in me, I feel a need to point out I have always been vain, and slightly photogenic, however with Facebook I am taking it to the extreme. I have the urge to take pictures of myself and post them. The face only, mind you, but still, I took a look at it the other day and just stared in stunned silence. I have to get a handle on this; no one wants to stare at that many photos of me. It’s insane, then I started looking around at other peoples Facebook pages, I noticed something, others have the same affliction. Why are we so obsessed with ourselves?
When did this happen? Has it always been there and social media has amplified it? I know within myself, it has always been there, I can stare for a long time in the mirror, and as a matter of fact I have to have my mirror time. Of course I have a tendency to just look at my face, nothing from the neck down. The urge to post a photo of myself is overwhelming and when someone clicks like or makes a comment what a heady feeling. I am sure I am not the only one whose ego feeds upon this; I wonder if anyone else has had the realization that this obsession with ones self is not healthy.
Emotionally it can really mess with your head, if no one likes your photo, is it a bad one or am I losing my looks. Those are thoughts I have, I know no one else will probably admit to being as vanity driven as I am, but I think you all know I feel a need to put everything out there. Well almost everything. I am going to go cold turkey and post no more photos of myself unless others are in the photo with me. Such as Tessa or if I can ever get Elizabeth Anne to take a photo with her dear old mom.

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Facebook Drama

Today is my Friday, oh how I have missed you, I longed for Tuesday to be Friday, but it was not to be, i have now subjected myself to the once a week Friday. Granted it is coming a day earlier than most people’s, but still, only one Friday a week for me.
Tomorrow will be spent picking up Tess from school, I have something special planned for her, I am so excited! Ok, so, I bought her this pink furry coat and I am in such a quandary, do I give it to her now, or wait until Christmas. If we get a real cold front she could wear it now, well not September but perhaps the end of October, November, get more use out of it. Plus I would get to have the joy of giving it to her and take pictures of her. Elizabeth Anne had a fuzzy coat when she was little, I can hardly wait to give Tessa hers! Ok, so tomorrow is new coat day as well!
I found a new place to take her, CooCoo’s, I have checked them out and they look so fun! I know she and I will have a blast.
Ok, so, Facebook, I decided that when I first created a profile on Facebook that it would only be for friends and family. I went beyond that and started playing those games and accepting requests from people who I really wasn’t comfortable having on there. So, I decided to clean up my Facebook account, I started deleting people who in the world we would not be friends, we would never hang out together, I really didn’t want to be apprised of their thoughts, their daily habits, as I am sure they had no interest in mine. I announced that I would no longer being playing any games, such as Castleville, Cityville, Mafia Wars and Yoville and if anyone wanted to delete me, please feel free.
I really wanted my Facebook to keep up with people I don’t get to see every day, people who I do see, however don’t get to hang out with after work, and for long-lost friends, family, relationships of that nature. Thanks to the games I do have some people who I have gotten to know and they stuck around, deleting people is hard work, but I shall persevere and keep cleaning.
Today is Starbucks day, I am very happy, I shall be indulging, I hope everyone has a great Friday, oh I mean Thursday.

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Actions result in Consequences

Facebook is a double-edged sword, it allows for old friends and family members to reconnect and forge new friendships. It allows us a window into the lives of ones we love, like and sometimes despise. However the dark side of Facebook is that it allows people to behave badly. Well, really the internet in general does this, although, on Facebook it seems to be prevalent.
Men and women both are behaving badly these days, no one seems to have any morals left, I find this shocking. To be honest it is people my age behaving in shocking manners, women messaging men who are married, engaged or obviously in a relationship, the men, flattered, respond and it takes off from there.
I was raised by a strict code of morals, by people who were not animals and believed that in a civilized society one must maintain a certain amount of decency. I still abide by this set of rules given to me as a child, don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t behave in such a way that the people who love you the most would get hurt.
I firmly believe that God, karma, life, whatever you want to call it, will get you, if you break these rules, then watch out. You will be found out every time and the world will turn against you, God will turn his back on you until you repent and make amends.
Amends, redemption, always a big part of the Joss Whedon world, I think that is why I have such an affinity for it. The worlds he creates call to me, beckon me to a place where there are consequences for ones actions, most of the time the consequences are swift and sure, other times it takes several episodes. While I know that life is not a perfectly written script, there is some truth to what he writes, although justice is rarely swift it is always sure.

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Mistakes, Freedom and Life

Confession time, on Sunday, early Sunday, I was trying to do something on the IPhone Facebook App and hit the wrong thing. I unfriended the Irishman, so I quickly added him back. Of course he had to accept the friend request, so when he woke up he had the notice I had friended him. He looked up and said you sent me a friend request, and I had to sheepishly explain I cannot work my phone when not fully awake. He laughed added me back and accepted the request to post he was indeed my fiance. Well of course this is all playing out in public, so all of his friends notice he is magically engaged, again, apparently though they didn’t know the first time around. So he is getting tons of congratulations, while my friends apparently have a little more common sense, only a couple of them hit the like button. None comment. So he goes on to explain what happened, really embarrassed at this point, me not him, he didn’t hit any buttons. So, no drama, just me, being, well me. Mystery solved.
I have been thinking of Buffy lately, really the last episode, where she defeats the Hell Mouth once and for all (at least the one in Sunnydale, we know there is another in Ohio) and she is free to leave the town that held her captive. She can do anything, go anywhere, the look on her face as the camera fades to black is one one of the best endings to a series to date. It is the look of possibilites, so I began to think, if my Hell Mouth were defeated, and I could metaphorically leave, and do anything, go anywhere, what would I do and where would I go. I think I would start with the mountains, I would spend one winter in the mountains of Colorado, holed up in a cabin, reading, writing, playing in the snow and drinking my weight in hot cocoa. Then head for the beach for some much needed sun, I love Florida, both coasts, so I might start there, then move on to somewhere more exotic. And then maybe go save the world, that is what I would do, what would you do?
Lastly, certainly not least, my friend in Owasso Tobra lost her dear friend yesterday, she went home, I know my friend would appreciate any and all prayers. I know how she is feeling, as I still feel the loss of my friend.