Well here we are, the day that brings me so many memories. The memories of the day are joyous, my heart still sings with the memory of Michael being born. Hearing his cry, holding him, counting his fingers and toes, looking at his beautiful face.
There is a scene in the Buffy episode The Body, where Buffy imagines what it would have been like if she had just gotten there in time. If her mother had lived.
I have those thoughts of Michael, what would he have been like as an adult. Knowing Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex, I believe I get a glimpse of what his humor would have been like. His demeanor, his looks, his closeness to his siblings.
I do wonder, would he have worked in the same field as his brothers or would he be more like me. Would he have gotten married and had children by now.
In an instant I imagine the what if, I think we all do it, we who are left behind.
I know where he is, I know my mom and grandma are taking care of him, taking my place until I can be his mother once more.
Amazing Sons
I am ready to write about my weekend happenings, it all started Friday afternoon, with my new schedule I work on Fridays. I am not ready to give up picking up Tessa at school every other Friday so I am taking off part of the day to spend with her. So off I go, when I get to the school, she comes out and my car will not start, I have had some issues with it, but nothing like this until now. I called Alex and he dropped everything to come to mine and Tessa’s rescue. He was able to tow my car back to Jeffrey’s house.
Tess and I had a lovely afternoon as we were able to walk to the park and have a picnic snack and she was able to play with the other children at the park.
As soon as Jeffrey got home he and Alex worked on my car, went and bought the part they believe is causing all of the mischief and fixed it.
This was after Jeffrey had already put in a full days work, he could have easily said I’ll take you home mom and look at it tomorrow. But my sons don’t do things like that, they help immediately. I do believe I have the best sons on the face of the planet.
The next day Jeffrey called and he was sick and asked if I could come and take care of Tessa, 3 guesses as to how long it took me to say yes, hang up the phone get dressed and go over there.
Tess and I played all day and I took care of both her and my son, it’s good to feel wanted.
Sunday was spent with the Irishman, we went to see a movie and grocery shop, boring to some, fun for us.
Tomorrow is another Monday for me, I shall persevere, as I only work two days, then off two, this is not a bad schedule whatsoever.
Birthday Synopsis
Well, my birthday weekend is over, the month continues, in the immortal words of Tracy Lawrence, Time Marches On. I had the best birthday this year, not just due to the presents but due to the fact I got to have lunch with Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex. It was not only enjoyable but fun, I have really funny kids, they have the most amazing humor. So happy I was chosen to be their mom, the only missing element was Tessa.
Let’s see, I know you want to know what I got, so I shall go down the list in order of birth, from Jeffrey I got a Starbucks gift card, he told me he knows how much I love my “Friday” coffee treats. Very thoughtful!
From Elizabeth a new Coach purse, all three of my Coach purses have come from her; this one is the trademark brown, only with purple trim! It is so pretty! I immediately had to empty the old one and put everything in the new one!
Alex gave me the gift of pampering; he got me a gift certificate for a mani/pedi at a salon called the Beverly Hills Salon! I get to be a movie star! How cool is that? I can go in with my coffee treat, holding my purse and get the star treatment.
The Irishman, I know you are all wondering about him, well, he gave me the gift of communication. I got the new IPhone 5, at first I was like, my IPhone 4 works fine, but then we got to the Apple store and I fell in love with the white one. Then Siri talked to me! OMG I think I am in love with Siri! It was a very cool and thoughtful gift.
He and I had a combination of lunch and dinner, at the Londoner in Allen, it was nice, it was a really nice day.
Next year I don’t know if I want to acknowledge my birthday as it will be a huge one, a really huge one. I don’t even want to say the number, I don’t feel this number, I feel like I am maybe 25, however I know my body is going to start betraying me, that I will eventually just cave. I really don’t want to get osteoporosis, which really terrifies me. My grandmother had it and her spine curved, I know it caused her a lot of pain, she never complained about it, but I know it was not fun. I remember the doctors wanted her to wear a metal contraption that would help straighten her spine, but that was more painful than the actual curvature, so she quit wearing it.
On that note I will say goodbye and go eat my yogurt for the calcium!
Singing
This morning I woke up with the urge to listen to Andy Griffith and sing at the top of my lungs, so that is just what I did, I am sure if they neighbors heard me they would have called the police and reported me for noise pollution. However, I don’t care, I was making a joyful noise up to the Lord.
Isn’t it funny how a song or group of songs can take us back, my soul wasn’t here, it was in every FreeWill Baptist Church I ever attended as a child. Sunnylane, the one off of Blackwelder and of course the First FreeWill Baptist Church of Owasso. Those old songs tend to take me back, I am suddenly standing next to my grandma and grandpa singing my heart out. Or next to my best friend Tammi, knowing my voice was horrible and not caring, I know God does not care how badly I sing as long as I am singing praises to Him.
I am reminded today how fortunate I am, I have amazing family and friends, and a non-stop supply of coffee, it is a good time to be alive.
I didn’t get any responses to my question of the day, not surprising, I am going to tell all right here and now, I would want to know. I may, at the time, “shoot” the messenger, however in the long run I would thank them.
I am still mulling over my visit with my cousins Cindy and Paula, I hope they come down here to visit, I would love to take them around and show my kids off to them. Take them to see Jeffrey and Alex, then to the farm to see Elizabeth and all of her animals. I know they would enjoy it, I would even cook for them. Yes, it would be that big a deal.
Well it is Friday and I have enjoyed not being at work, I hope everyone has had a great day and has a fantastic weekend.
Renegades, Rebels and Rogues
Well here we are people the last day of 2012, I cannot say this year has been kind to me, however some really amazing things have happened. I am on the radio! Can you believe that! I still cannot believe my friend Shanon asked me to do the show with her. I am awestruck that someone had that much confidence in my ability to talk. Thank you so much Shanon for giving me such an amazing opportunity, I don’t have the words to express how much your belief in me means.
The Irishman was sick for almost all of 2012, we go into 2013 hopeful for continued recovery, it has been a rough year in that respect. But God is good and ever present and I believe led him to the right doctor to get him on the road to recovery.
My children are all healthy and doing well, I am so proud of all three, Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex; I literally do not know what kind of life I would have without them. They make everything better, when I see a text or call from one of them I smile and happily answer, except when I am at work Alex! I could not resist that, he knows what I mean.
As I look back at the past year I not only see the struggles, I see where I have been blessed beyond measure, I have my health, I have my wits, most of the time and I have amazing friends. I still do not understand what I ever did to deserve such amazing people in my life I am just grateful God saw fit to bring them to me.
I go into 2013 ever hopeful, not only for my life and the lives of my children, but for my friends and for the world. I go into 2013 with a positive attitude, with prayer for a better life and for continued growth, spiritually not physically, and with a renewed determination to make myself the best I can be. Without going into the Marines.
In my family the number 13 is a good luck number, we never really bought into the whole superstitious thing; we like to turn things around. I can only imagine what a whole year of 13 will bring.
So for Christmas Elizabeth gave me an ITunes gift card to download my two favorite albums that she stole. Tracey Lawrence and Kiss, well I have downloaded Tracey Lawrence and I cannot stop listening to it. I know what you are thinking, isn’t this the same singer that beat his wife in a hotel room in the ‘90’s. Yes, yes it is, however if the world can forgive Chris Brown the week after he beat the living daylights out of Rhianna, I figure it is time for us to forgive Tracey.
There is one song in particular that I love, Rebels, Renegades and Rogues, I have always considered myself a rebel and renegade, not so much a rogue. But what truly makes me a rebel, you ask, that is a good question. Well I have always gone against societal norms, as in I was and continue to be a girl nerd who knows fashion. An unusual combination, or used to be, not so much anymore, turns out I was a trail blazer, who knew. As for the renegade, well, I have never done what was expected, I drive fast, I rail against authority, not really, the last part, the first yes. Anyway if you are a country music fan I highly suggest you give Tracey Lawrence a try, some of my favorites are Alibis, Texas Tornado and If the Good Die Young.
I shall sign off for now, the next time I talk to you all it will be 2013, a new year, a new beginning, a new hope. See what I did there, I snuck a Star Wars reference in there, BBFF that was for you.
How I met Sandi
I can’t remember if I have told this story here, however, I feel the need to tell again, as today marks the 2nd year without Sandi.
When Jeffrey was in Kindergarten he came home every day talking about Daniel, it was Daniel this, Daniel that, until I decided that I needed to meet this Daniel. I asked Jeffrey if Daniel’s mommy picked him up from school or did he ride the bus. Turns out his mommy did indeed pick him up from school, so the next day I asked Jeffrey to point out Daniel so I could introduce myself to his mother and have Daniel over for a play date.
Jeffrey said Daniel is the one in blue, this was Kindergarten, there were at least 10 little boys in blue, when I pointed that out to Jeffrey, he let out a loud sigh and took my hand and pulled me toward his new friend. I met this tiny, dynamo of a woman, she knew of Jeffrey as well she said, as Daniel talked of nothing but him. I asked if perhaps Daniel could come to our house for a playdate, she explained that she would have to get to know me better before letting her son come over by himself. I instantly respected this mom, I was the same way, she then asked if I had ever had a Mary Kay makeover. I said no, she said we could kill two birds with one stone, the boys could play and we could have some girl time.
That was that, Sandi came over with Daniel and she and I bonded over makeup, the fact that we both were transplants to Texas, she was from New York, I was from Oklahoma and that we both were protective mothers.
Over the years she became not only my friend but my mentor, my sounding board and another mother to my son. We used to joke that we were raising the same child as Jeffrey and Daniel were so much alike. We talked almost every day, she was always there for me, in the rough times and in the good times.
I miss her as much now as I did the day she left us to go home, I know she touched so many people’s lives, she was a powerhouse, she packed so much into such a short amount of time. She raised not one but two amazing sons who are doing great things with their lives. I know she was proud of them and continues to watch out for them from above.
Today I will not cry, I will rejoice in the fact that I was blessed with her friendship and guidance for the amount of time I got to know her here on this earth. I will say a prayer for the hurting hearts that were left behind and will pray for continued healing from the pain. I will pray for others to find joy and comfort in the memories of Sandi and with the knowledge that we will see her again.
Teaser
Yesterday was a fun-filled day, I got my new glasses, I look amazing in them, then buying cookie butter for myself, Elizabeth, Jeffrey and Alex. Then picking Tess up from school, we went on an adventure, we went to the duck pond, where there were so many ducks! I had never seen that many ducks in one place. She played on the playground, then it was off to McDonald’s for some food and more playing on the playground. We went back to her house for playing with the dogs and, well, on the swing set out back.
Then it was dinner and Target with Elizabeth Anne, always love spending time with that girl, at our favorite place, Taco Bueno, of course, then Target.
I had an amazing conversation this morning with my friend Shanon, I cannot wait to be able to fill you all in on that. However, it is not time, just know I am going to have a major, amazing announcement soon.
I have cleaned the kitchen, done laundry and watched Hercules, I miss that show, the bad outfits, the bad acting and the fun. So much fun on that show! Alright, going to have a diet coke, thank you Irishman, and watch The Avengers, again.
Dream State
Ok, so, on Monday night I got no sleep, it wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep, I could sleep, however when I would fall asleep I was having the strangest dreams.
I was dreaming the apocalypse was upon us, in all dreams that was the recurring theme. So in dream number 1 the end is imminent, Jess calls me and says “listen, the apocalypse is coming and I need to run some errands, come over here and watch my dog.” So of course, being the good friend that I am, I go to his house to watch his dog. Now this is no ordinary dog, it is huge, pure white with green eyes. While Jess is gone on his end of the world errands it begins to rain, rain is too mild a word, it was torrential. The dog runs out and will not come back in, I have to go out and get soaked trying to get this beast back in the house. I wake up before I can convince that animal to come back in.
Dream b, it is the end of the world, I decide I am going to Bonham, so I tell the Irishman “listen, it’s the end of the world you go find your kids and be with them I am going to Bonham.” So I load up the car with canned goods, blankets, pillows and my shoe collection. Oh and dog food, I put Nacona in the car and we go to McKinney and get Jeffrey, Alex and Tessa. Off to Bonham we go, the roads are congested and it takes us over two hours to get there.
When we get there I tell Elizabeth I am taking the bedroom off of the kitchen and Tess decides she wants to stay with Gigi. Then I inform Elizabeth Anne I hate the outdoors so I will do all of the cooking. I wake up at that point, I guess we were going to live off of pancakes. I don’t know what my great cooking plan was, these dreams were so weird. I think I am watching too many shows about the end of civilization as we know it. Reading too many books about it, I don’t know, but I know last night I slept and don’t remember anything I dreamed about, so it is all good today.
Real Housewives of New Jersey Stress
Well, another weekend is gone, another three day weekend is gone, I got to spend Friday in Bonham seeing Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex. A great day indeed, I spent time at the shop with the boys, and then I went to Elizabeth Anne’s office and got the grand tour.
She has so much Office stuff, from Dunder Mifflin Paper to a Dwight bobble head, so cool! I took pictures and posted them to Facebook, so if you really know me and are friends with me you can see the items there.
Then it was off to pick Tess up from school and take her to Jump Street for an adventure, we jumped and ran and had a ton of fun. Then it was McDonald’s so she could eat and play some more. She made friends with some girls on the playground and had a ton of fun there as well. A good afternoon indeed.
On Saturday, it was Avengers day, I watched everything, from the gag reel to the extended scenes to the one narrated by Joss Whedon. Then I watched the movie again, for the 7th time, yes you are reading correctly, the 7th time, no I did not assimilate into the movie yet. I don’t believe that happens until like the 30th time. So I have plenty of time to pick out my outfit that I will be wearing for all eternity in the film.
I stayed up last night and watched the first part of the reunion show for the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I am so stressed out by that show; Theresa is either living in such denial, is delusional or is a pathological liar. I can’t decide, even when confronted by the fact that she does not write her own blog and doesn’t even know the meanings of the words used in the blog she will not give it up. She put down Caroline for being overweight and not having any plastic surgery. Ok, what kind of world are we living in when women are put down for NOT having plastic surgery? I know I talk about it a lot, wanting to have it, but I would never put down anyone for not having it. My mother and grandmother were beautiful women and they never had plastic surgery. Shame on you Theresa for putting someone down for being natural, shame on you for saying your husband could get more phone numbers at a bar than someone else’s husband. What? Who would brag on something like that amid the rumors of your husband cheating on you? Seriously? I believe Jacqueline over you, it is that simple, as does most of America, I do believe you are narcissistic on a level that is beyond comprehension. I do not believe you were that way the first season, you were more into your daughters and your home life, yes to some extent your looks, however we are all to some extent into our looks, but now you have surpassed everyone on a level that is just scary. Stop putting others down to make yourself feel better and know that when a parent has passed you do not EVER say anything about them that is derogatory in nature. I don’t even know if I can stomach watching the other two installments of the reunion, but I probably will.
Lee Greenwood, RHONJ and Danny Strong
So much to tell, I don’t even know where to start, I do believe I will start with the benefit concert I attended yesterday afternoon. Jess told me about it last week, he casually mentioned he was playing in a benefit concert featuring Lee Greenwood, and in fact would be playing with him on the song God Bless the USA. I was like, WHAT, so I immediately purchased my ticket, how do I not support my friend in this amazing event.
The concert was benefiting an organization called Parkinson Voice Project; it is a non-profit charity that helps people who have Parkinson to find their voice. I did not realize that Parkinson disease also strikes the vocal ability of patients, this foundation helps patients regain the ability to speak and be understood. They do not charge people one red cent for this therapy, it is amazing to hear people before and then to hear them after. Sometimes even after 10 days of vocal therapy their voices come back.
The people singing in the choir, known as The Loud Crowd, are all people who have Parkinson’s disease and who are a part of the Parkinson Voice Project, let me tell you they did a fantastic job. Please take a moment of your day to check out the entire endeavor at http://www.parkinsonvoiceproject.org.
There is something about Lee Greenwood singing God Bless the USA that makes me tear up every time, I still remember the first time I saw him sing it in concert. It was in the 80’s and he was billed with Crystal Gayle, which will tell you how long ago it was. I believe it was 1985, I was pregnant with Jeffrey, it was just amazing. I still love that song, it definitely holds to the test of time. This time was no different; I got a little teary eye when he sang that song and the Loud Crowd joined him. Just a terrific moment, very moving, very patriotic and incredible, especially after knowing some of the back stories of the people in the choir.
Then it was home to get ready for the Emmy’s, my favorite awards show, after a quick detour to bring the Irishman a decaf coffee treat, it was home, pajamas and Emmy. So freakin’ excited for Danny Strong, a.k.a Jonathon from Buffy some might remember him as Doyle from Gilmore Girls, winning an Emmy for writing a mini series. Now I am going to have to watch Game Change for sure, as you all know I support all Joss Whedon alumni.
Very moving tribute to Andy Griffith, Ron Howard did a fantastic job; he is always so incredible, saying the right words, invoking emotion, smiles and tears. Then it was off to the Real Housewives of New Jersey, wow, I don’t even have any words for what happened at that fashion show. It is obvious that Teresa set up Melissa; I do like how Melissa would not allow Teresa play the victim, called her out on it and then called her husband.
Here is my question, why would Teresa not leave with her brother? Why would she not even go out there and try and calm him down? After the fight in Napa he and Melissa left with her, they also kicked someone out of their home at a Christmas party that was talking bad about Teresa. Teresa did not do that here, in fact she went back inside to party some more. Her brother in law told her good job, good job for what? That is the big question here, why was he congratulating her, she said thank you and was all smiles and giggles.
I have to mention that hairstyle and outfit that Teresa has been wearing for the interview sections, what the heck. It is a major fashion faux paus and Teresa is incredibly fashionable. But that look is hideous; it is a throw back to every bad 1980’s look in the book. Whoever styled her for that was so very wrong.
Angie World 