First Day of Fall, First Day of Boot Season

It is fall, we all know what that means, an ode to boots is in order:

Boots, the word carries so much, so much promise, so much fun, so much intrigue. I love boots, I love the way they feel, I love the way they make me feel. My personality is a little more sassy when I am wearing boots. I feel sassy, I feel taller, I feel amazing in boots. Boots are magical, they have to ability to make one special, I would like everyone to admit when they put on that first pair of boots, on the first day of fall, they feel magical. Like you can do anything, be anyone, conquer the world. While wearing boots I have gotten out of traffic tickets, I have gotten free Starbucks, I have gotten marriage proposals, and yes I trace all of that back to boots.
So, today, being the first day of fall, I urge you all to go out and purchase new boots,be open to the possibilities and enjoy all of the magic that follows.

The Fairy Tale

So the Irishman says he wants to get married Monday, I think he thinks I am going to back out completely. I probably should, but something keeps me here, In 1993 I swore I would never get married again, EVER. Now, look at me, I’m a mess. I think I will tell a little more about mine and his history, just so there is no confusion out there.
It happened very quickly, where he was telling me I was the love of his life, the only woman he had ever had those types of feelings for. The depth of his feelings for me, there had been no other like that. I was meant for him, there was no other for him. Yes those are the words he used, I was his destiny, I wasn’t used to hearing such things, mainly because I never allowed anyone to get that close to me. He kept telling me such things, that since his divorce he had never met a woman like me, strong, independent, beautiful and fun. He said I was the proof intelligence and beauty could co-exist. He had never met anyone as beautiful as I, as funny as I, as smart as I. The thing is, even after all of this time, he still says the same things, he said the easiest decision he ever had to make was asking me to marry him.
I want to believe in the fairy tale, what woman doesn’t, however, I learned a long time ago that fairy tales don’t tell the whole story. I will have to wait awhile to get to the end of my story as I am still fairly youngish.

Thor Day

I bought Thor on BlueRay, it came with a digital copy, of course that has been downloaded to my IPad. I can now watch shirtless Thor anytime I want! Today is a good day indeed friends! I feel my life taking a turn for the better, just with that simple act.
I am beginning to think that I need a remote control for life, much like the one Adam Sandler had in that movie, I don’t remember the name of it. I would not speed up time, I do believe I would slow it down. My life is rushing before my eyes, I am in need of more hours during the day, more days in the week. Especially more weekend days, I would love a 5 day weekend and a 2 day work week. Who’s with me? All for one, one for all!
I have a lot to accomplish this weekend, I need to clean again, I need to do laundry, again, I need to grocery shop, again, and I would love a few hours for fun. I don’t know when that will be. Maybe Sunday. The Irishman has off on Sunday, perhaps he will want to spend that day with me.
I am thinking I need a new wardrobe, I am thinner, a lot thinner, and none of my clothes fit, I do have some that fit, but not nearly enough. I really think the question is, can one ever have enough clothes? Well of course that answer is no, because styles change, trends come and go, I need them all! Well except for the trend of showing ones belly, that one I never wanted to do, my belly does not look great.What I really need is a whole body transplant. That would be great, botox for my neck, awesome! Anyone else with body image issues out there?

More Weight Loss

So this morning I weighed and I have lost even more, I can see my rib cage and I have clothes on that I have never been able to wear since buying them. I went through my closet this weekend and got rid of all of the clothes that are too big now. It is as if I have a whole new wardrobe, I am so very happy! I want to lose another 48 pounds, that will make me heartbreakingly thin, I cannot wait! I am following the Weight Watchers plan, I am sticking to my 29 points a day, I also eat a lot of watermelon. If you put salt on it, that curbs the craving for salty treats.
Yesterday I walked over 2 miles. I am very happy about that, I was not even tired, but I was very sweaty, which means you are sweating out the fat, right? I hope, I hate being sweaty for no reason! I hate to sweat period, so if it is not for a good reason forget about it.
I also got my new boots I ordered a month ago, they are Colin Stewart boots, and are fantastic! Brown suede, with only a moderate heel, but they are knee-high with the fold over top. Very nice indeed. I cannot wait for full on boot season!
Losing weight and being thin makes me happy, it is the one thing in my life I can control, and being a control freak, this totally helps when nothing else is within my control. I can understand why people become anorexic. It is a control issue, you can control your food when you can control nothing else. I do not believe I am headed down that road, but one never knows. I have a lot of body image issues, I fully and readily admit that. I refuse to be seen in a swimsuit, I refuse to show my legs, I refuse to show my stomach, my arms, well you name it. I do believe the Muslim women are onto something, along with the old-fashioned Nuns. Cover everything! However, here is where I differ, I love form-fitting clothes, nothing loose on me! I can’t stand too big or baggy clothing. I know it is strange for someone who has body issues. TTFN

Cliche’ Day

Well it is Sunday and I find myself living a cliché’, I am lazy, after cleaning like a dervish yesterday I figure I deserve it. What is it about a man that when he lives with a woman he becomes a boy again? Not doing laundry, not vacuuming, not cleaning the bathrooms. It is no wonder I am so tired! We are going to have to have a talk. I cannot do it all, I have never been one of those women who said oh I want it all. I can do it all. No, I need help! And yes I do realize that one brief sentence has left me open to a Jess comment. I look forward to it.
I have gone grocery shopping and loaded up with Skinny Cow products, they are saving my life. The dark chocolate caramel treats are particularly tasty, I have to hide them from the Irishman as he eats them all. He doesn’t seem to understand he is already skinny, he does not need to be a skinny cow, I do!
Recently I have become enamored with iced coffee, so good, what a tasty, caffeine filled treat. Well this morning, or rather, afternoon, I have created my own! Very proud of it, I love coffee, I know I haven’t said much about it lately, but we are very much still in love. Coffee loves me, I love coffee, it is symbiotic, It gives me energy and well, I give it validation for it’s very existence. Remember, caffeine is God’s way of saying “I love you Angie”.

Chewie and the Irish People

So today I spoke to the Irishman’s mom and dad and aunt and uncle via skype, so they got to see me, the only problem with this is I was not forewarned. I had no makeup on and workout clothes on. Do any of you know how stressful this is? I never allow anyone to see me without makeup! I had to do an early morning delivery of United Way sale items and was dropping off, leaving, quick Starbucks run, then planned on working out. Not talking to future in-laws via Jetsons technology. It was the first time they had seen me. Can you believe that is the way they saw me??? They must think I am the ugliest creature alive. The absolute horror!
I did not get to work out, too traumatized, I did however clean everything in sight today. All clothes are clean, it is clean sheet day, and it was so pretty the back door was open all day so Chewie could come and go as he pleased.
Speaking of Chewie, the Irishman was showing his family Chewie and he was telling them that Chewie is 15 and is slower now. About that time, Chewie begins hopping about, as if to prove him wrong. He was saying, uh yeah, whatever, look at me!
I love that dog!
Well that was my traumatizing day, I will have to go to therapy to get past the horror of it all. I hope everyone else had a great Saturday.

Sweater Dresses and Boots

I am bone tired, cooking food and serving it for 8 to 10 hours is very tiring, but the end result is always good. We make money to help people in our community. That is a good feeling. I have such a great team, I can’t say enough good things about them.
I have been thinking a lot about Sandi lately, and Dee, I miss them both so much, I still have their numbers in my phone, I have their pictures on there as well. When one gets to the age that death is inevitable that is one thing, but to die from horrible diseases too young is another. Sandi’s was not by her choice, although I believe Dee had a choice. She chose to smoke, and chose to continue to smoke even when she knew it was killing her. That is the sad thing, and it does not diminish the pain of the ones left behind, I believe it heightens it.
On to other topics, I refuse to be unhappy today, the weather is cooler, it is bordering on boots and sweater dresses season, and I could not be happier. I am 25 pounds lighter this season and am so beyond excited to get some new sweater dresses! I love them! I want a closet full of them, I also want to live somewhere that I can wear them nine to ten months of the year. I can hardly wait for snow this year! I am so beyond excited about the possibility. There is always the possibility of snow here in North Texas. We mainly get ice, which I will take, but there is that occasion, the slim chance, that we will get snow, and twice in a row it has been on my birthday! You are all welcome! I will bid you all adieu for now, making breakfast tacos today to sell at Lakeside tomorrow. See you all there!

MK5K #abolishcancer

I have decided to participate in the MK5K, what is that you ask, well it is the Mary Kay 5K to raise funds for the Mary Kay Ash Foundation. They give grants to help fight cancer effecting women and also to groups that are trying to eradicate domestic violence. This year I decided to participate after my friend Dixie said she was running and asked if anyone wanted to join her. I am going to participate in memory of my friend Sandi. Next month will mark the one year anniversary of her passing after a 20 year battle with breast cancer. Here is the link for everyone to donate! http://support.marykayfoundation.org/site/TR/MK5K/General?px=1025772&pg=personal&fr_id=1130 if you can find it in your heart and pocket book every amount is helpful!

Angie and the Irishman

I met the Irishman before my beloved Tessa was born, I thought he was Scottish, don’t ask me why, I have no answer for that one. I have to be honest; I never really paid any attention to him, just a co-worker and one that was not in my group so I didn’t have day to day contact with him.
One day I get this chat (company chat) from some man with a weird last name asking me a question, no good morning or introduction just the question. Well this irritates me; I like the niceties in life. So I said out loud, “Who is this?” and one of the guys in my area looked at the chat and said oh that’s that Irish guy. I said what Irish guy and they all stared at me, and described him and I said oh I thought he was Scottish. I answered his question and that was that. The next day, same thing, but this time I thought to myself, um no. so I typed good morning and sat back and waited. Then he said well it is not a good morning because of whatever the issue was. So I answered his question and that was that. The next day, I get a chat, it says good morning. We became friends, which was in September of 2007, then we began to talk outside of work. It was still friendship, nothing more, nothing less. I blame Disney for this whole thing, it was Christmas time and I was at the mall and saw these amazing life-size princess dolls at the Disney store and sent him a text telling him he needed to get one for his little girls. He then sent a text back saying he needed to do some Christmas shopping and did I want to go with him. Well, shopping, mall, given. I was there. We met at the mall, he got the doll and I got the few remaining things I needed and we spent several hours walking around the mall talking. I had the best time; I had not laughed that hard in a long time. After we left the mall he sent me a text telling me he had had a great time and would love to do it again, perhaps this time not in a mall. I said I had also had a great time and would love to do it again.
We agreed on Wednesday, I realized that was New Years Eve, so the next day I told him it was New Years Eve and would understand if he had other plans. He said there was no one else he would rather spend that evening with.
The Saturday before the Wednesday, we decided to meet for lunch, he had a 3 hour split shift, so we met at the Olive Garden. Amazing conversation, he is really funny, and then he had to go back to work, he walked me to my car and we had our first kiss. I knew I was in trouble then, I probably should have canceled the date right then and there. But I didn’t, and the rest is history as they say. It is my history, my present and hopefully my future.
We began dating, for my birthday he gave me a necklace that his grandmother had given him before he left Ireland. He said she told him to give it to the woman who had his heart, I have only taken it off once, and that was for the brief period that we had broken up. I tried to give it back and he said I would always have his heart and he wanted me to keep it.
I have been thinking about our history a lot lately, going over things in my mind, always looking, always questioning. That is me, I can drive myself insane. I loved those early days, although I have to say when it is just the two of us, we are still the exact same as we were then. Always laughing, being completely goofy and loving it.

History

I think about the afterlife a lot, I seem to be surrounded by death, I grew up going to funerals. Uncles, Aunts, Great-Uncles and Great-Aunts, my Grandfather. Then later my son, grandmother and parents. I wish that death would take a break with me, losing Sandi last year was unbelievably hard, there are times I can actually hear her voice. Angela, that is what she would call me most of the time, she would say it with a certain tone. I can’t even explain it, just know there are times I can hear her say my name as clear as day.
I still miss her so much, I could use someone to tell me what to do right about now, I find myself in a situation where I am unable to make decisions like I should. I hate that, I have never been that way.
For those of you who may be new readers, I shall give you an abreviated story of me:
I was married young, we had four children, one of whom passed away, and then 10 years later he decided he liked blonds better than brunettes. So off he went, I raised my 3 children, I went to college for two years, worked 2 jobs, then got the job with a major telecommunications corporation.
I spent all of my time with my children, running them here and there, on the weekends they were with their dad, well there were still baseball games, dance recitals, soccer games and of course later FFA type things. There was never time for anything else, I honestly don’t know how single mothers find the time to meet men. Anyway, 14 years later, I met someone and we started dating, we have been together 3 years and 8 months. So if you can do the math, more power to you. We did break up once, well, I broke up with him, for one week, maybe it was a week and a half. We are engaged now, since December 2009, we began dating in December 2007.
there is an abrievated story of my adult life.

oh and my children, they are amazing, all of them!