People mistake weakness for nice, and nice for weakness, the two are mutually exclusive and I don’t understand how people can mistake the two. Scarlett did it in GWTW, she called Melly mealy-mouthed, everyone assumed because Melly was bodily weak her will was weak as well. They were wrong, they called India Wilkes kind because that is the persona she wore, however, she was mean-spirited and vindictive, Never forgiving Scarlett for stealing a beau when they were 15 years old. Melanie Wilkes was the truly strong character out of everyone, remember when she shot that Yankee even when she was so weak physically she could barely walk. It took sheer willpower to make sure her family was safe. Scarlett was not a nice person, she wanted to be, her mother was, Melanie was, but she was not. Her mother was her anchor and after she died it was Melanie, of course Scarlett was too blind by jealousy to see that Melanie was her touchstone, her Jiminy Cricket. I too, am like Scarlett, I speak without thinking, I want to point out others flaws, however the one way I am not like her is I can spot the people who are truly nice and separate them from the ones that just wear the mantle of niceness hiding the true monster inside. My mother was a truly nice person, she was my touchstone, she was my anchor, she kept me from running amok spouting whatever came into my head. Since her death I have had other people in my life acting in this capacity, however, none of them as successful as my mother in this endeavor.
From this point on I am challenging myself to be more like my mom, I will think before I speak, I may think you are a complete moron, I will not say it. Trust me when I tell you, I know the difference between the Melanie’s and the India’s of the world and I seriously have no respect for the India’s. I feel I have learned from GWTW in the fact that Scarlett didn’t appreciate Melanie until she was on her death-bed, then she understood. I recognize the truly nice people around me, I don’t have to wait until they are on their death-bed to recognize their true spirits.
I understand there are some women who think of themselves as Scarlett’s, I understand that, surface wise, she was exciting, beautiful and seemingly smart about business. But Scarlett was stupid when it came to recognizing quality people. She was focused on surface things, I can’t fault her, it was her nature, she was raised on surface things. She was taught that she should never say what she things, reading was for ugly girls and she should be flirtatious and fun, never a serious thought in her head. When her world left her, she became hardened, she had no use for nice people, as she viewed nice as weak. Don’t be fooled by this, nice is not weak, weak is not nice, two different kinds of people, you should seek out truly kind people, not the ones who simply wear the mantle, surface niceness.
Memories
I had something all ready to go, ready to just click the button and there it would be my Friday Angie World entry. However, there are times when one gets derailed, and this is one of those times. I was driving to work and a song came on the radio, I was so overwhelmed with memories, good memories, sweet really. It was a song from the movie Urban Cowboy, it was Look What You’ve Done To Me, it brought back the sweetest memory of the boy who took me to see the movie.
Sixteen is such a magical time in most adolescent’s lives; it is filled with discovery, innocence and amazement. I loved being 16, I loved the carefree life, I loved having no worries beyond what lip-gloss to wear that day, which shoes do I feel like wearing today. Ok, you might think I am not so different today, however I have bigger worries than those in my life as an adult.
If I could go back, would I? That is really the question; I think I would, for one day, to have nothing to do n the summer beyond laying out with Tammi. Watching All My Children and all of my other favorite soaps on ABC. Getting more and more golden by the moment, perhaps on a Friday, that way, I could tan during the day and then go to the Skate Ranch that night. Interesting thought, where oh where is my Delorean?
Perhaps this weekend I shall have a time travel weekend, I will listen to music that invokes memories and watch television shows that remind me of my era. Eat comfort food and catch up on laundry, I lead such a glamorous life.
My Review of Stars Earn Stripes
I finally did it, I watched Stars Earn Stripes, the new Dean Cain try at reality television, I never did watch the horrid one. I refuse, although, yes, it is still in my DVR list, I cannot bring myself to deleting Dean.
My thoughts on the new show, one word, awesome! This show totally rocks, I didn’t know that Terry Crews was on there as well until a few days before it premiered, that was just a bonus. It is a contest driven show, the stars are all working to earn money for their favorite military charity. They are all worthy causes and the contestants are all working hard to earn the funds. I like this premise way better than Dancing with the Stars as those stars are earning money for themselves, not any charity.
The very first mission we get to see Clark, err I mean Dean, lifting heavy things and shooting guns, I thought my head was going to explode, literally. Wow, what a great way to spend my day off, watching Dean Cain in uniform doing manly things. I cannot begin to express my happiness, this was beyond anything I could have wished for.
Before you say, oh this glorifies war, fighting, military dominance, it does not, what it does is bring awareness of everything our troops go through in order for you to have the freedom to spout whatever comes into your head. No way I could do these tasks, I would be lying in the field like a two-year old throwing a fit saying, I can’t do this. I believe the majority of us would be doing that, there are the few that step up and take on the mantel as protectors of the United States of America. I have so much respect for these men and women, I believe this show honors them and gives us newfound respect for all they do.
I am off to work today, it is my Monday and Thursday all rolled into one, so loving that! See ya tomorrow!
Dean Cain Update and Stuff
So, Dean Cain has a new show, this time a respectable one, I have not watched Stars Earn Stripes yet, but rest assured it is recorded. I plan to spend part of my day off tomorrow watching it, then I will give a full report on my renewed love affair with Dean. I need it to be good, so far I am seeing good tweets about it, I need something to take the horribleness away that was that dating show. Ok, confession time, I still have that episode recorded that has Dean in it. I have never viewed it, I don’t even know if I can bring myself to watch it, however deleting Dean from my DVR is a hard thing to do. I love him, I cannot even begin to explain the level of commitment I feel towards supporting him in all of his efforts. It is pure insanity, however, it is an insanity I am not willing to part with.
Yesterday evening after work was spent catching up with a friend, much laughter was had, and good gossip was shared. Oh, get off our high horse, not malicious, hurtful gossip, fun stuff, like who got a new job and news like that.
It was also the return of Grimm, excellent show, from start to finish I was sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the next revelation! Excellent start to the season, so mad it was a to be continued episode! I didn’t even realize the hour had passed, it was that good! If you have not checked it out, please do, catch up on season one and start with 2 right away.
I am still feeling the effects of Saturday’s spa visit, I am still relaxed and my face is beginning to peel from the chemicals. I love it, if I get the chance I am going back to see Todd the masseur, he was nothing short of amazing. If you want a great massage, no chatter and to feel wonderful, book a session with Todd at the Pure Day Spa in Frisco, TX. No, this is not a paid advertisement, just a satisfied customer.
Today is my Friday, so I shall sign off for now, will let everyone know how much I love seeing Dean Cain in uniform. I can barely breath thinking about it!
Weekend Noodle
Once again I sit here facing Monday, I always have a hard time on Monday as I find it difficult to fall asleep on Sunday night. I wish it were easy but it isn’t, perhaps others can empathize with me.
This weekend was crazy busy, it started off Friday evening with me delivering Dr Who DVD’s to BBFF, then dinner at Gloria’s, very nice. Very entertaining, BBFF is very good company, although he once again reminded me I am in charge of finding him a girlfriend. So I am putting the word out, looking for a nice, cute, geeky girl for handsome, funny, geeky boy. Late 20’s to early 40’s please apply.
Saturday was a me day, I admit it, I first had my hair done, once again Beatrice outdid herself, I look fabulous. Then it was a spa day for me, I was fully pampered at the Pure Day Spa in Frisco, TX. First on the menu was a massage, I have never had a massage by a man masseur before. It was wonderful, I prefer a firmer massage and he was pitch perfect, and he didn’t chat. I was able to fully relax with being expected to make conversation, what a treat! I was finally using the Valentines gift the Irishman had given me. I had champagne, strawberries and was able to relax, please go there and ask for Todd. He was amazing. Next on the menu was a chemical peel and microdermabrasion session with Van. She was also great, not real chatty so once again I was able to relax and enjoy my time with her. The Pure Day Spa was simply amazing, you have to go, when you do be sure and ask for Todd and Van, both professional and good at what they do.
I was a complete noodle after that and just went home, ate my leftover nachos and watched TV, it felt wonderful to do so. I cannot begin to explain how all of that made my Saturday less painful, it was the 9th anniversary of my mother’s passing. I dread the day, I hate it, even though I know she is home, with my dad and incredibly joyous. I miss her, I miss her gentle humor, her wisdom and I miss someone in my life giving me unconditional love. When one loses their mother, well that is when you realize no one on earth will ever love you as much as she does. If your mom is still alive, hug her, giver her a call, tell her how much she means to you and how much you appreciate everything she has done for you in your life.
My Training Experience So Far
Yesterday I spent the day in a training class, the class was for people to become Team Leads, I only agreed to go to the class to see how on earth some of these people were becoming Team Leads. Case in point, on 4th of July I had an issue I had to go to a Team Lead to get resolved. I only go to one when I cannot resolve the issues using the tools I have, in other words it needs to go to a group other than us, the only way to that group is through a Team Lead. So, I call, I get this woman, that number one I had no idea she was a team lead and B. it was shocking as I was in the same original training class and know how she struggled with the material. So I have no confidence she is going to be able to comprehend the complex nature of my issue. I was correct, after explaining it no less than three times, she still didn’t understand, I won’t go into specifics, let’s just say I convinced her to take it to the group it needed to go to. I understand once she got there all she could say was I’m new, I’m sorry, to the point they finally said call us you’re not making sense. In the mean time I am monitoring the customers ID and immediately see it hit our server, so whatever they did fixed it. Customers happy, offers of marriage forthwith, blah, blah, blah.
Fast forward to yesterday, I get in the class and she is in there, doing the training! I was like what the heck. Then I notice there is another man, a competent Team Lead doing the actual training,however she chimes in every now and again with some nonsense. This one time I could not let it pass, we are talking about the products we have sold and which ones are legacy (meaning we do not sell them anymore, however customers still have them) the dates they stopped selling them and the regions. She chimes in with oh and the Midwest you’ll see legacy DHCP, I said um no. No you wont, because we never sold that service there. She said ok. I said we only sold PPPoE service there, whether it be dynamic or static, one has always had to authenticate via PPPoE. She then says those words that almost made my head explode, she said, “Well, Angie, a Team Lead doesn’t have to know everything”, I said the only thing I could, “They should know the simple things”.
I mean seriously, one is a Team Lead because presumably they are the best at their job, when I was a Service Rep I was what is called a Back Fill, same thing. I knew everything there was to know about my job. That is why my manager chose me to be a Back Fill, I also did some training, once again, I had to know everything I was training on. I had to be prepared, for this woman to say such a thing is asinine, inane and, well to be honest idiotic. She does not need to be in the position she is in, when you put yourself, and yes, you are putting yourself in that position, no one makes you do it. You are saying to the world, or the work place, I am the best at what I do, I know enough that I can help others do their job. This is crazy that someone who does not know the simplest thing has placed herself in this position. If I had told someone that I didn’t have to know everything when I was a Back Fill those people with 30 years service would have had my lunch. And rightfully so, I would not have said that for the world. Of course I had a lot of confidence in my knowledge level, I still do, what I don’t know, I’ll find out, that’s the way I am. Use your resources before going to someone for help, exhaust everything, but you have to begin with knowing the basics of your job.
On an upside, I made the Chick Fila sandwich, gluten-free, for the Irishman last night. You will have to find out from him if he liked it or not. It’s Friday and I am off to another day in training, wish me luck. Oh BTW she did not come back after break, I think I made her cry.
August 9, 1984
Today is not a good day, well, really the whole week is just a bust emotionally speaking, today is Michael’s birthday. He would be 28 years old today, I still remember the day he was born vividly, it was hot, of course, I was tired of being pregnant, he was late. The doctor induced labor, so it was very intense and painful, then his heart rate dropped and they decided to do an emergency c-section. The cord was wrapped around his neck, they managed to untangle him and he took his first breath. He was perfect, 10 fingers, 10 toes, 8 pounds and 10 ½ ounces, a head full of black hair. He was the most perfect baby I had ever seen and he belonged to me.
We got to keep him for twelve amazing weeks, he was perfection, he laughed, he cooed, he discovered his toes. At twelve weeks on the dot God decided he wanted Michael to come home. It was horrendous, my heart was ripped out of my chest and something else was left, it was beating and keeping me physically alive, however my soul was gone.
I was so angry with God for a long time after that, I never stopped communicating with Him, but the anger was deep and palatable. I don’t really remember the day it left, I just remember waking up one day and realizing I was no longer angry. I was telling a friend of mine, when I was pregnant with Elizabeth Anne, about the anger and I told her that I fully believed if I had died during that time I would have not gone to heaven. She began to cry, she said the profound thing I had ever heard, she said “Angie, who better to understand your pain than one that lost his own son, one that watched their son die a horrific death, you know he took care of your son because he knew how much Michael meant to you.” Whatever residual anger I had dissipated, just like that, I knew, deep in my soul that I could tell God anything and he would understand.
I try not to be sad on today’s date, I am rarely successful, I still miss Michael as much today as the day he went home. I look forward to seeing him again, holding him, talking to him, singing to him and being his mom again.
Painful Monday and Good for Mrs. Scott Baio
Another Monday, another beginning, another chance to make things better in the world. Or at least your part of the world. Incredibly optimistic for a Monday, I will admit however since this is fueled by caffeine, you will have to forgive the peppiness.
I helped a friend move from their 3rd floor apartment this weekend. This morning I do believe my legs have fallen off. Trying to get out of bed was a monumental feat. I literally thought I was going to die. As I am telling you this my legs are very literally screaming at me. I don’t know how to answer them. I left early today to ensure I had enough time to walk from the parking lot to my desk. Yes it is really that bad.
The upside is, it was so scorchingly hot I do believe I sweated off several pounds.
I am so tired today, as sleep was elusive last night, every time I moved the pain woke me up. Ugh, I seriously hate muscle pain as it reminds me that I really should workout to achieve complete thinness.
Ok, so, on twitter, Scott Baio had posted a picture of his refrigerator and asked his followers to do the same. Innocent enough, I, for one, enjoyed seeing what everyone was posting, very fun. Someone suggested this would make a great reality show, with Scott and his family choosing with whom to have dinner with based on the goodies in the fridge. Great fun, everything chiming in, posting pictures, then comes the one, and there is always one. The skank, the trashy woman who posts something so inappropriate that Scott Baio has to block her. Well, Mrs Baio sees the tweet and grabs her husbands IPad and addresses it right then and there. I say good for her, if more women reacted I do believe the skanks would get the messaged, eventually. I myself have responded swiftly and decisively when women have been inappropriate toward the Irishman. I dont’ put up with nonsense either.
It’s crazy that women don’t think anything about saying or doing really nasty things in social media or email, text messages or phone calls. They don’t think there will be any consequences, I do believe Mrs. Baio and women like her (me included) are teaching them a lesson one woman at a time. I will say this here and now, someone is always watching and you will always be found out and there will always be consequences
Good for Mrs Baio for reacting swiftly and decisively.
Well it is Monday and I need an amazing amount of caffeine to help me through this day. I hope you all have a fantastic day and remember reacting to a situation in a swift manner is always best.
Sleep
I am still so very tired, however it is Friday and that makes me so very happy. I am determined to sleep in tomorrow, untill at least 8am to even 9am, that would be just the most amazing thing ever.
The Irishman is getting better, which is good, hopefully he will gain some weight back soon. I never sy that about me, nor do I know anyone else who says that about themselves. Only him, he is still so very thin, I have to admit, I was very worried for a while.
I wish I could get a disease that makes me lose weight like that. It would be so amazing if that would happen. I would really love to be so thin people look at me and say “wow she needs to eat something!” That has never happened to me, I would so love for that to be said to me just once in my lifetime!
One good disease should do the trick, nothing huge, just an intestinal virus or something like it. So not fair that the skinny people get to be even skinnier.
Well it is that time folks, time for us to choose a new tour here at work. I chose something different for my first choice. I don’t know if I will et my first choice or not, however if I do, I shall be working Monday through Thursday 6am to 5pm. That will give me Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. A three-day weekend every week, not too shabby.
What that means is the Irishman and I will no longer have a day off together. which is fine, because even on our days off together we don’t spend it with each other. So it really doesn’t matter, he is very busy you see not doing things with me. So having a day off together is not that big a deal to him.
I am looking ahead to Christmas, three days off in a row would be great to get things done, like decorating, shopping and yes cooking. Christmas is the only time fo year I actually cook, I make cookies, dressing, a ham you know, nothing fancy as I cannot cook anything fancy.
I cannot wait to go home and go to sleep today, I am so tired. I need a good, uninterrupted nights sleep. I hope you all have a grand Friday, I may get a Starbucks on my lunch break.
Old Friends and New Beginnings
So yesterday I got to feel moderately helpful, went to BBFF’s new house and was able to boss around two premise technicians and two installation and repair technicians. No, I really bossed around no one, I was only there for moral support. Here is the really amazing thing, one of the prem techs, Juan is the brother of one of the people I work with, Miguel, what a small world. Then they tell me they are calling out an I&R tech as there are issues and he gets there and it is my old friend Quentin from my service rep days! What a great day.
Have I mentioned my rousing bout of sword fighting? Yes, I was challenged to a dual, BBFF’s little boy challenged me, he had a terrific light saber, light up and made noise, while I was given a yellow bat like thing. I don’t know who won, I just know it was a blast.
Also while there, got to catch up with BBFF parental units, always a good time catching up with them. Just an all around great family, the house was filled with hustle and bustle and brimming with activity. Very happy for him as this is really a great house, one that humans actually make into a home. Great neighborhood, great house and I foresee many great memories being made by him and his son.
I admit I am completely worn out, the heat has done me in, I cannot take it, I am begging God for snow. If I have to endure this kind of summer can I please have a real winter, this is too much.
Well that is all I have for now, looking forward to a weekend spent in my pajamas, OMG I almost totally forgot, I came home to my brand new Betsey Johnson Pajamas waiting for me, thank you RueLaLa, I love them. My day is complete. I shall sign off now, I leave you with one thought, think snow.
Angie World 